Men, Sex And Santa Cruz

I started to see my councilor a few weeks ago. We are talking about HIV/AIDS, men, sex, and Santa Cruz. I need to get over the sex barrier and not be afraid to have sex and infecting someone. I want to date someone who is HIV+ because they would be more understanding about the disease.

All the men I have met here in Santa Cruz who are HIV+ are not my type. She asked me a few tough questions and I had to make some tough choices. Point blank she told me that I wouldn't find the type of man I was looking for here in Santa Cruz. She also stated that I may have to move to San Francisco or West Hollywood to find the type of man I'm interested in dating.

I had to make a few tough choices. Do I stay here in Santa Cruz and keep the job that I really love along with my nice housing and benefits and great health care. Do I make the move in hopes in finding a relationship and go to the great unknown starting all over from scratch?

I have decided to stay in Santa Cruz at this time. My health comes first!!! I'm not happy about this but I need to take care of myself. Sometimes life is so unfair it sucks. Do I want it all? No I don't but I do want some of what life offers.

I have started working out also the past few weeks along with tanning. I may not find a man to date, have sex and a relationship but I'm going to look DAMN good for gay pride this year!!

footnote: The pic shown is a print by Clifford Baker that I want to get for my room.