Steps

Someone on my blog commented I was pathetic and should get a life. That life goes on even after finding out that you are HIV positive. So to this blogger I say you are right. I am learning to deal with HIV and learning that we all take different steps to our accepting a disease.

The first step was for me accepting what is inside my body and all that goes with HIV. We never know when life is going give us that curve ball, and how we are going to handle that ball. I bitched and whined in my posting about being drunk over gay pride weekend about how scared I was to have sex.

Acknowledgement is what I should have written in that posting. That was a huge step for me just to even think about putting myself back onto the market. For me to have the idea of even the slightest chance of having a relationship, or being sexually active with a partner was a huge step.

They say the first few years are the hardest when you find out you are positive. That HIV just becomes a nuisance after acceptance. Maybe I was just really shaken up my first year having watched three roommates die from the disease.

Anyone who knows me in the flesh knows I have an amazing outlook on life. There is a lot of joy, love, and caring in my persona. They know everyday my attitude about HIV is changing into something I can live and deal with on a daily basis. Everyday I am learning from what I call the old timers who have been positive 5, 10, 15, and 20 years.

So I will keep making my small and large steps and deal with this disease. I will keep on learning how far I can push my body. Who knows maybe one day I might take that giant step out of a plane I always wanted to do and not worry on what the side effects. So to Greek Stories I say, I am still learning what you already know and accepted!!!