Poz Mikey



I wrote this posting last night on paper, now I am writing it electronically.

I wanted to go out dancing lasting and have one or two drinks. I wanted to go out and have and relieve the stress I have been under for the last few days. I left the bar almost in tears. Oh yeah, I ran into a few people I haven't seen for a long time. A few people hit on me that were not my type. My butt is sore from some California bears pinching it. If you look like George "The Animal" Steel with facial hair you are not my type. Mitch (my bosses friend) was also there with one of his friends.

The reason I left almost in tears is I am afraid to have sex. There were some guys at the bar who I would have love to have gotten intimate with, but Chicken Little here didn't. Knowing all the safe sex methods, I so wanted to hit on these guys but I was so afraid of infecting them with the virus.

I do not want anyone to go threw what I have been threw. Why can't I get over this barrier? Am I rushing things a little to fast? Is 18 months of knowing I am positive too soon to have sex. How can I be 100% sure I won't infect someone with the HIV/AIDS virus? After going out and planning to have 1 amaretto sour, I Had 4!!!! So I am going to bed tearful. I am going to allow the alcohol run it's coarse. I will put on my Happy Face tomorrow for all the world to see so they don't see my heart is breaking for the need of some affection.


  • Geez, Mikey...so sorry. And God, men are absolute pigs no matter what they're orientation, eh? Pinching your ass? Some effing nerve people have. Does that shit ever work...with ANYONE?

    Thinking of you, dude. I know it's going to happen for you at some point. Eventually, you'll feel more confident all the way around. For now, join the ranks of the self-satisfaction club. I'm not just the owner...I'm a member. ha.

    By Blogger Karl, At 11:20 AM  

  • Now don't get me wrong for what I am going to write. Have been reading your blog regularly and although at first I was kind of interested in what you had been writing I found it after a while sort of repeating yourself in some ways, now in the exact words your arer using or the topics your are referring too but somehow on your emotional style. I won't be saying much on this as there is a great danger that I will be misunderstood and I don't want that by anyway, but just an advice: Try not to be so pathetic. Discover the strength inside you and start living your life again. Life does not stop with HIV. So just stop pitying yourself and get a life again. And believe me I am not a stranger to what your saying. All the best.


    By Blogger Greek Stories, At 2:43 PM  

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