While writing this I"m going threw one of my mood swings from the meds. Some people get these just because that's their life. For me it's a little bit rougher because it's tough for me to get out of my head.
You know those times when you feel you aren't good enough. You are striving towards goals that just seem to be just out of your grasp. You keep trying an trying but can't reach what you desire. My perception of how people view me is I'm always have to be happy and up beat. Tonight is not one of those nights. I just want to hide under the covers and hide from the world.
I know tomorrow I'll be fine, but I really dislike feeling down. Maybe it's because I had hopes of meeting someone at the retreat or gay pride this year. Hell just to go out on a date again. I think I'm just terrified to put myself back on the market. When I do put myself on the market and nothing happens, I get down on myself. Tomorrow please hurry up so I can get out of this mood.