I Would Never Have Thought

I would have never thought my life would be like it is today. Always struggling to make it in this harsh world. Always having to worry now about my health, and finances. Always having to fight bouts of depression every few months. (I'm going threw a very bad spell right now being unmotivated to do any.) Not having a partner, or a car or a high paying job.

I would have never thought I would be in a "Catch 22" situation where I'm afraid to make too much money and loose more health benefit. Right now it feels to me that my life is on hold waiting for the wall to a fulfilled life is not.

Growing up I wanted and believed in the gay American dream. I wanted that life partner, a nice home to call my own, a nice car or two in our driveway. I would never have thought I would be living at or below the poverty level in this country.

Like I said I have been battling depression the last few weeks. I find it hard just to get out of bed handling life's situations. I could use some very good miracles right now. I'm tired at this point of my life fighting for anything and everything. I need to find the fun loving, motivated self again.