Poz Mikey

4/10/2006

My Night Of Nights (A GBBMC Blogger Whoring Posting)


Disclaimer: I am writing in a blogging contest this week as a famous person for the next five days. Do to certain historical facts about this person, I find myself having to use words, and situations that go against my being. I refuse to use them in my real life. This posting is the most offensive of the week. The words are, nigger, fag, cunt, and making fun of Jews. So I want to apologize to all blacks, gays, women, and Jews right now before I start. You will understand on Friday when I reveal who is this famous person . Yes, I will be pulling a Bill &Ted/Paul Maud Dib with this person. Enjoy the postings and check out the other contestants postings. The links are on my sidebar. Mikey


What the fuck does the US army want to draft the son of Russian Jewish immigrants? My parents fled that damn country just to get away from those commie bastards. Now the army wants me to fight side by side with them? Shheeshish.

So I am at boot camp, we have to take some type of aptitude test to see if we have any "special hidden talents." I am thinking yeah right I'll just be a foot grunt, but I would be great for the USO. So the test results come back, "combat engineer" do you believe that schitzkolf!!! Oy Vey!!


Me and the boys turn on radio Europe on the wireless in our barracks. The only thing we can tune in is Hitler's propaganda broadcasts. I see that the boys are getting more, and more depressed by the moment. Rushing out to the commissary I bolt. I grab some lard and rush back to my barracks (with the lard hiding in my jacket.) I go to my footlocker, grabbing a cork out of a bottle of booze I have hidden there, some matches, and my tin cup. Then off into the latrine I rush. I burn the cork in the tin cup and put in the lard mixing it into a paste. I schmear it all over my face and rush out to the boys. Then I get on one knee and do my best Jolson imitation. Singing:

"Yesterday I heard Hitler sigh
"Goodbye" Hit ler, Oh my
Seven Jews got aboard his train
And seven Jews he shot dead, never
to kiss his ass again, And tell him...

Toot, Toot, Hitler Goo'bye
Toot, Toot, Hitler we'll cry...

The boys always love it when I do Jolson. One day, one of those nigger soldiers saw me doing my Jolson. Needless to say he wasn't amused with my brand of humor. So he tells me to meet him outside that night, and that he was going to show me what the black culture was like.

So before I meet this guy, I slug down a few shots to relax me taking off the black face. I meet the nigger guy who I'll call Gregory. So I meet Gregory outside the base gates, we start walking and talking. Now the drinks are hitting because I am more relaxed (also horny, drinks always do that to me). He tells me he is going to take me to something called a "Jazz" bar. Who knew they had black bars in Europe.

We get to the club (and it is all niggers, I find that out when we walk in) and now I am REALLY HORNY. So Gregory and I walk in, I see it's all niggers and I blurt out "Hey, where are all the white women?" The men in the bar are about ready to lynch me. Gregory assured them I had only a few drinks and not to worry. "Watch your mouth boy, whitey!!" I said back to him "You better watch that whitey shit boy, you uppity nigger."

We step up to the bar. For what a commotion I caused in the bar when we enter, the bartender asked my for my I.D. Me being drunk as a skunk now I say "Let me just whip this out" and I reach into my pants. The nigger women start to faint. Some are burying their heads into their boyfriends shoulders. The bartender throws us out thinking I am going to pull my dick out instead of my I.D.

I tell Private Hines to go back to the base. I am so horny now I am ready to hump Hitler himself. I find this red headed prostitute and we go back to her bedroom. I pay her to fuck all night long. She asked me if I was Jewish and if it was true if we were circumcised. She turns off the lights, reaches down my pants and says " Oh itth's trwue, itth's trwue." "Yes it is true, and my mom kept the foreskin for a hair scrungie! It works great in a pinch!!" I said.

We haven't slept all night. I tell the whore that I need to get back to the base. She gets really angry at me. When I start to walk out the door the pyscho cunt is yelling at me "You men are all the same!! Coming and going, and going and coming, and always too soon. What about my needs? You didn't give me an orgasm yet, you Jewish fag!!" I am think she's not a prostitute, she must be a nympho from the Nile. I get back to base and fall asleep as soon as my head hits my bunk, sore as hell like something the cat dragged in.

Footnote: These postings inspired by Paul D.

18 Comments:

  • I'm thinking Henry Kissinger.

    By Blogger WAT, At 12:44 AM  

  • Oy! Kissinger is a good guess. I am stumped at the moment. I have to think about it.

    By Blogger Claire, At 3:57 AM  

  • I'll have to think about it too. Great entry!

    By Anonymous groovebunny, At 7:37 AM  

  • Wow, yes, Kissinger is a good guess. Better than the non-existent guess I had.

    By Anonymous Kevin, At 8:03 AM  

  • great post! you can really feel the "energy" of this person through your words.

    By Blogger Sizzle, At 8:16 AM  

  • Wow, good stuff, Mikey. I'm at a loss, but I look forward to the next entry.

    By Blogger Karl, At 8:34 AM  

  • wow. good stuff. no idea as of yet, but well written.

    By Blogger suze, At 10:29 AM  

  • excellent voice! I look forward to the next one!

    By Blogger Party Girl, At 10:39 AM  

  • Hahahah Kissinger I am laughing my ass off because it is so wrong. That also would have been a great one to blog.

    By Blogger Mikey, At 11:53 AM  

  • Whoever this person is, they sound like they'd be great fun at parties!

    By Anonymous Dave2, At 12:49 PM  

  • No frickin' clue, but what a colorful character!

    By Anonymous Jacynth, At 1:46 PM  

  • Grrr. I thought I knew, but now I'm not so sure. I'll have to read some more.

    By Blogger Ms. Q, At 3:38 PM  

  • A rip roaring good post. Still no clue though.

    By Anonymous H.F. Peterman, At 4:02 PM  

  • Um . . . so once again I have no clue. I'm not very good at the guessing part of this game.

    Can you tell that the guy I'm dating was a history major?

    By Blogger Rabbit, At 4:25 PM  

  • See again, I am humbled by the truly awesome stuff people have are doing with this. Really...

    Love this though...

    N.

    By Anonymous Nat, At 4:57 PM  

  • Well, I don't know but I am so glad that Pauly and Kevin have brought us all together.

    By Blogger JAX, At 9:11 PM  

  • Glad my track record of not knowing my fellow lost bloggers "guests" is holding up so far.

    By Anonymous Kathleen, At 9:14 PM  

  • I too am utterly clueless here.

    By Blogger SJ, At 7:19 AM  

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