A Mikeyism and then The Real World (the real posting)

Mikeyism- Biker rage: For all those out there who suffer from road rage I suffered from that on my bike yesterday. People who talk on cell phones and almost hitting us while they are talking on their phones. Other bicyclist being inconsiderate of you on your bike. Both happened to me yesterday. Biker rage, the 10.1 of road rage.


I'm afraid of what the real world holds in store for me. Bills overdue, rent two months late with no rental assistance available, or used up. Medical disability payments gone from the state due to the numbers game. No income as of writing this posting. Having to go out there and find a real job. Afraid I'll catch something that might cause a serious health issue. That an employer won't understand my health issue. That no employer will not hire me due to having HIV for being a health and insurance risk. That if employed, I might have future health issues which would cause me to be absent from work. Will the employer understand my health issues? When do I tell an employer about my health issue? Do I tell an employer? What if there is an emergency situation where there is lots of blood involved? Even with a simple cut I could infect someone for life. Will they take proper precautions so they do not to catch the virus? Do they really want to hire me considering my past health issues over this past year. Will they fire me for a different reason if they find out I have HIV after being hired? Yes I do know there are different ways to fire a person so no discrimination law suits can be filed. It's tough physically, and emotionally draining trying to decide what is right. I do have to be true to my inner soul. I have to do what feels right for me. For me there is no choice or debate in this matter. I can not be untrue to myself that is worse then lying to me. That's my greatest, and my worst asset depending on the situation. I know a lot of people who's numbers are better then mine, and yet I'm the one who isn't sick enough for state and federal compensation. I only know of three people living with HIV who are working regular jobs. How do they do it? When did they tell their employers? Did the tell their employers? One of the three is my doctor, he had no choice in the matter. He already knew(snickering as I wrote that one). What about the other two? These are the issues that I am dealing with writing this posting. These are the issues I need to address. These are the issues that plague me at night sitting in my room. All these questions are valid. I don't know? There maybe no right or wrong answers to my questions. I was told by people living with HIV the first year or two are always the hardest. I totally understand now that statement is a fact for me.