Drama

I have been dealing with some MAJOR drama for the last few weeks and everything came to a head this past weekend.

1. My bosses mother is dying and they don't give her long to live.

2. The salon owner and my boss are having issues which they can't work out.

3. The other two roomies were arguing all weekend.

4. I was mowing the lawn and clipped a water and gas line to our house. (Their both fixed now.)

Wildfire

vlog: Update

I Would Never Have Thought

I would have never thought my life would be like it is today. Always struggling to make it in this harsh world. Always having to worry now about my health, and finances. Always having to fight bouts of depression every few months. (I'm going threw a very bad spell right now being unmotivated to do any.) Not having a partner, or a car or a high paying job.

I would have never thought I would be in a "Catch 22" situation where I'm afraid to make too much money and loose more health benefit. Right now it feels to me that my life is on hold waiting for the wall to a fulfilled life is not.

Growing up I wanted and believed in the gay American dream. I wanted that life partner, a nice home to call my own, a nice car or two in our driveway. I would never have thought I would be living at or below the poverty level in this country.

Like I said I have been battling depression the last few weeks. I find it hard just to get out of bed handling life's situations. I could use some very good miracles right now. I'm tired at this point of my life fighting for anything and everything. I need to find the fun loving, motivated self again.

I Was Asked.....

The past few weeks I was asked certain questions in which I would like to respond. One of the question was asked by my boss. He asked me "Why do you want a laptop so badly?" When you spend hours and hours on your computer doing work it limits your time going out into the real world. Sometimes I'm over whelmed staying in my bedroom doing research and what not. Having a laptop would open up the possibility for me to go out and do my research plus open up an opportunity for me to meet people.

Another question I was asked was "Don't you ever get tired of doing HIV/AIDS education?" The answer to this questions is yes. Sometimes I feel I just want to runaway from my own self and not have to deal with HIV/AIDS. If you have noticed, I've taken a small break from educating. I've been contemplating what my next step is to educate people about HIV/AIDS. Sometime, I hope to get more recognition for my educating about living with AIDS outside of my very small tightly close nit group. I hope one day this small town, this large state and this wonderful country will know what I'm trying to achieve educating about living with AIDS. I don't have this wish just for myself, I also have the wish for this person too.