Poz Mikey


Three Mile Island (For Jules) My Personal Recollection

I am a native of Lancaster Pennsylvania. Growing up there I went to J.P McCaskey high school(picture shown). It was the largest area high school, I was co-captain of their gymnastics team, the Fulton Opera House was presenting Thornton Wilder's "Our Town," and experienced The Three Mile Island accident first hand.

It was my freshman, sophomore year in high school (McCaskey only has grades 10-12, junior high are grades 7-9). It was one or two o'clock when a special announcement came over the loud speakers. Sitting in my piano class, I played the organ, and always wanted to play the piano but my parents forced me to play the organ, the dreadful announcement came. Three Mile Island had an accident. One of two nuclear powerplants in the area. The other one was Peachbottom. We will keep you posted on all updates. Should they have released us that day from school? I think they should have for being only about 45 minute drive from Middletown Pa. and the local news coverage down playing the accident. Will write more about that later.

As far as we the students knew at the time, we weren't in any real danger. Later finding out how in grave danger of losing our lives we were. So finally school lets out, all team sports practices are cancelled we all rush home to see the news special reports. I lived about five or six blocks from school so I walked to school every morning, and home every night. This posting is just a little hard to write. Emotions are now coming up that have been suppressed, or not felt for years.

So walking into my home, my mother in front of the television watching the latest updates. My father is still at work in the watch dial factory he where he was employed. He usually came home between five and six at night. Me being a teenager at the time, I was scared, and frighten of what may happen to us. I didn't understand nuclear energy, and the internet was just a shining spark in someone's brain.

I have never discussed the conversations my mother and father had during the crisis, with my mother. Dad passed away a few years ago. I remember the first night sitting at the dining room table, with my mother, brother, and my father stating, "I don't know what to do, lets just wait and see what happens, and keep checking the updated news reports."

Day two I go to school. About 20 percent of the schools student body is absent. The teachers conduct classes like nothing happened. You could feel the tension in the faculty and in student body. The huge cafeteria, where my friends and I usually played UNO during our lunch time break, was unusually silent and the conversations I did hear were about Three Mile Island.

The middle of the accident. About half the school's student body are absent now. Their parents keeping them close should something more drastic happens at the power plant. Families are now leaving for other states to stay with relatives and friends fearing they will be nuked. The teachers are really no longer teaching their classes. Team sports competitions have been cancelled, practices were now optional. Evidently absenteeism was bountiful in all the school districts in the area.

I remember quite vividly pleading with my father to leave the area. My father reassured me that the government would handle things, him trusting the local media coverage at the time, and not being able to afford to leave the area for weeks at time. He had our family to support. I now understand what conflict he must have been going threw. That night my sister calls us. She was living in Fullerton, California at the time going to college. She asks my mother how the media is covering the accident. My mother states" We are only receiving small reports here." My sister informs us that it is blasted all over the media everywhere else.

This is when I found out Three Mile Island has always had problems. This is when I found out one of my uncles on my mother's side of the family worked on the plumbing. My mother told me that before my uncles company received the contract. The previous company hooked up the wrong water pipes to the toilets. Yes indeed, the hooked up the hot water instead of the cold water so every time they flushed the toilets would explode. Thinking back now it was a sign of things to come.

Damn I should be doing more packing instead of writing this posting.

Things cool down. Literally. A few weeks we are out of danger. The nuclear plant has been shut down. The government is now investigating the accident, we are finally informed how close we were from losing our lives. Students trickle back to school daily. Team sports competitions resume. My feelings about the government, and their handling of the natives of Pennsylvania still hasn't changed over all these years. I have to say I am still bitter at them. Why didn't they do a forced evacuation like they did for Katrina? Where was the Red Cross and other agencies that handled those type of emergencies?

A few years later. I have now graduated high school in the middle of my class. I am dating my first real boyfriend. Another story to be told. We dated for about nine months. I am living in Harrisburg during our relationship. His family were avid boatist and loved to water ski. So one day they want to teach me how to water ski. Where do we go? On the Susquehanna river right in front of Three Mile Island. Yes, you read that right! I learned to water ski in front of TMI years after the accident.


Hart And Menopause

In my posting Wild S and Frankenstein Tits I mentioned Hart and how sometimes the salon was cold. Today I am going to go more in depth. I work with a bunch of middle aged women. There are only three men working there Wong, Larry, and myself. I can use Larry's real name due to the link I have posted and it's free publicity for him. Yes I have mentioned I used a link to his web site on my blog.

Often times I have to put on a sweater or sweatshirt (I love hoodies I can't get enough of them) I wish I could be like Imelda Marcos and have over five hundred. Stop!!! Wait a minute, who has more shoes? Imelda Marcos or Star Jones both have over five hundred. That just hit me writing that line? The trivia bullshit I retain.

So sometimes the salon is hotter(lolol I looked how I typed that first and I typed hooter {guess what link that one is}) then Heath Ledger's acting, or cold then me and Jose right now. I was sitting in the cubicle I use when I can't be in the room when Larry is working on a hair client. Sorry Rabbit good hair piece doesn't come off in bed, trust me I know from experience. I will make a posting of the guy I once dated with a hair piece. Only Rabbit, and Matthew know that one. Damn I'm off track again.

Sitting in the chair in the cubicle, bundled up with my freshly waxed eyebrows, icicles hanging from them and my front genitles going all the way down to the floor. Oh what a visual you must be having right now. I am that cold!! Women who have headlights had nothing on me this day. Wondering if all of them are having hot flashes at the same time? Thinking should I sit under the hair dryer to warm up. Damn if I did I would flood the salon and put them out of business. Should I go over to the vegetarian restaurant next door and get a hot cup of coffee? What should I do?

So Hart comes over to ask me if I was cold. My body is one whole goose bump by now. Teeth chatting trying to speak. I manage to sputter out " YYYYYYYES IIIIII AAAAM" She says " Oh get use to honey. Your working with a bunch of women who all are going through menopause." The youngest person there is Wong. He just turned 30. "Whoa" I cried out in aspiration "TMI, way too much information for me!!" God love these women . They will tell it like it is in no time flat. Why isn't menopause called womenopause? HMM Notice how Rabbit's link is white. Another hmm. That Rabbit link will tell you why the first Rabbit link is white. Will explain TMI link in another posting. Good story there to tell.



411, Moving, OCD

I can inform you today of certain information I was censored from till now. For the past few weeks we have been hiding out a HIV client with OCD in my house. Why is this? For he is moving into the same support house I am as of February. The property manager would not have understood for her being the wicked witch of the west. She would have wanted him to be on the streets till the first of February. Being in the house alone I said sure to a certain ORG. I would like the company.

About a week ago I told you we had a break in at our place. Unfortunately I could not contact the authorities for if I did the witch would have found out the client was in the house with me. We both would have been living on the streets. My hands were tied on that option due to secretsy.

So most everything is packed now for the move. I went to see the room I will be living in at the new house. I am more then a little worried my bedroom set, and computer table will not fit. I love my computer table it's called the "Jerker." IKEA will love me if they read this posting knowing I put a link to their web site on my blog. The room is long and narrow with a little cut away alcove (I'm not sure what's it called). Most of my stuff is packed tonight. I still have a few things in the kitchen, and I'm going to pack all the electronics last so I can enjoy them before the move. I found out I can receive DSL at my new place. I will be wired up again as soon as all of us can figure out what telephone lines goes with each room. Shit I wanted to be in and wired the same day. So I might have trouble posting till next week.

Today I was packing up, and I'll call the person with OCD Jose. Let me tell you Jose was drunk last night and invaded my personal space. He came into my room while I was working on the posting from hell for hours, kiss me squarely on the lips. Yuck, he is so not my type and had alcohol breath to boot. I tried to pull back but was unable to and he wrenched my neck with both hands so I was trapped. He smelled like a drunken French whore with bad perfume on his body. He also had the attitude to match if you get my drift.

We had a little talk today, two talks actually (I talked, he listened both times) about personal space, and personal property. Jose's OCD compulsion is cleaning. Most people would enjoy this, I did too until certain items were moved, thrown out, ect. Yes the house sparking clean, and that is so nice to come home to find after a hard days work, or a vacation (ask JULES). In the midst of frenzy packing, the person in charge of the new house shows up and we all headed to the new home. (I know repeat. You repeated. Didn't you tell us all this early?) Not all. So we come back dropping off Jose, me unlocking the door for him and taking off again to run a few errands. I come back to find all my half packed boxes down stairs, not taped up, not marked. The things I needed to go threw were moved. He did this once or twice before. Dummy me let it slide those times.

Here's why I am so upset over Jose. He went threw my food cabinet which was clearly marked and tossed my food away, or took what he wanted(I wasn't working at the time and relying on other peoples charity). He went threw my bathroom needs drawer everything was missing but my hair clippers, guards, and an electric razor. I figured out calculating he has cost me over $40.00 dollars or more from his OCD, and who knows how much time going back redoing things, searching for things he has moved. Yes, I looked for over half an hour for the measuring cup he moved. I won't mention how long I looked for the cutting board.(finally found on top of the fridge out of my sight line) or how he took my roll of quarters (in which he replaced after I called him out) off the dryer, then folded my cloths on top( I hate people going threw my undies), or the library book he moved and almost cost me a replacement fee. He really isn't that bad of a person and as soon as we work out our boundary lines we should be good roommates. He really isn't as bad as Jack Nicholson in "As Good As it Gets"

Today I just could not take him. I yelled for Jose the second time to come talk then proceeded to lose my temper. I don't believe I said this but I actually quoted David Spade's character in "The Emperor's New Groove" "You no touchy, no touchy" now for my own words "In other words, keep your fucking hands off my shit!!! I asked you before nicely now I am telling you no fucking more!!"

So I need to learn more about OCD and people living with OCD. Hopefully the other roommates will be more understanding then I was today. I also want to thank Ms. Sizzle for todays OCD link from "Sing It, Piano Man."

*footnote- After reading this posting a few times I think to myself God I might have OCD. How many times did you mention you were packing!!.


The M.Y.T.H. Series

I'll admit I am not an avid reader. I find most books boring, and sometimes to technical for my taste. I love Michael Crichton the author of Jurassic Park but sometimes his technicalities puts me to sleep. This brings me to Robert Lynn Asprin. He is the author of the M.Y.T.H. series. A humorous fantasy adventure series about a young wizard named Skeeve and a pervert named Aahz, I'm sorry that's a pervect. My Favorite next in line behind the Harry Potter series, and before Pierce Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality, and his Apprentice Adept series.

Granted Asprin writes more an a teenage level, but he has these great quotes in front of each chapter. Some of my favorites I like to share with you today.

1: "Careful planning is the key to safe and swift travel" Ulysses

2: "In time of crisis, it is of utmost importance not to lose one's head!" M Antoinette

3: "Man shall never reach his full capacity chained to the earth. We must take wing and conquer the heavens!" Icarus

4: "What are friends for!" R. M. Nixon

5: "Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce!" Henry VIII

6: "That's entertainment!" Vlaad The Impaler

7: "The best laid plains often go fowl!" Wile E. Coyote

8: "I love the night life!" C. Dracula

9: "_ Or was it unlock the safe then swim to the surface?" H. Houdini

10: "If you can't dazzle them with dexterity, baffle them with bullshit!" Prof. H. Hill

11: "This posting on my blog was easy, and not time consuming!" Mikey M.

Enjoy the 17 links in this posting I found for you my fellow bloggers.
* footnote -I found two spellings for Vlaad (Vlad) on the web. So give me a little leeway on that one.



Going From Homosexual To Homometrosexual The Waxing Experience

The women and my boss at the salon have really rubbed off on me. They are turning me into a homometrosexual. I have already told you I went into the interview and came out with a part time job, a hair cut, and a good dye job. So having seen my boss wax men's ears, and eyebrows, and he told me even once he even waxed a man client's nose hair. OHH GROSS. First thing I pictured was a big, long, stringy, boogy coming out of his nose along with the nose hair.

Looking in the mirror the other day I said to self " Damn my eye brows are in bad shape." After, a lot of contemplating and inner strife. I never had the brows waxed before, I decided to let my boss wax them.

So sitting back in the chair, my head on the counter my boss applies the wax. "Ok" I think "Not so bad, kind of warm and soothing I could get used to this."RIP. I jumped out of the chair, hanging off the ceiling just like Tobey Maguire in the original Spiderman during the Thanksgiving day scene, and cursing explanatorys left and right.

So finally I get courage to get back in the chair, let my boss finish the waxing, gritting my teeth the whole time. Then he pulls out his black tweezers. With the first pluck I am back up on the ceiling again, cursing like a drunken, horny sailor on his first Saturday night leave in a saloon.

After another five to ten minutes of torture which in actual time was about a minute or two, my boss applies this nice, soothing ointment to my eyebrows. Ahh the relief. "Ok now. Let's do your ears." "What" I cried out and trying to get out of the chair. No luck. He straps me down like a death row inmate in the electric chair. He does both ears. I have to admit that wasn't too bad. He said "I only had a few hairs in each ear. On the other hand, your eyebrows were like titanium steel wool pads." I do have to admit I look good, the eyebrows are shaped, and not overly done like a flamboyant queen in which I expected them to be. God bless women who go through that torture to look beautiful. God forbid if I start to wear a speedo at the beach and need a Brazilian bikini waxing. I think I'll just use Nair for that hair removal.



Wild S And Frankenstein Tits

What should I blog about tonight? How I took my bosses keys home with me? The attack of the killer exploding potato? The eye brow waxing and plucking? Man, I do not see how you woman do that stuff. OUCH!!! My boss said mine were like titanium brillo pads. Having a bad morning and going to work. No to depressing. How one day I got cold at work, pulling on my sweatshirt and Hart coming up to me asking if I was cold. Then proceeded in telling me to get use to it that I am working with a bunch of middle age women who are all going threw menopause. No, I want to blog about Wild S and Frankenstein tits.
One of my co workers in which we call Wild S I just learn had major plastic surgery done. Do you know where I'm going with this posting? The only thing I know of, or have been told is Wild had liposuction done on the abdomen (she talked my boss in having that done along with his neck he shows off proudly) and breast reduction. From what I herd, her breast were so big that when she turned her breast used to break out bricks of buildings, cracking sidewalks and passer byes noses alike, and indent cars. They were so big that she really did developed back problems.
So Wild S, my boss, Donna, and myself were in my bosses cubicle. My boss asked Wild "Are you using the massager so you don't get the scaring from the lipo?" She goes "Hell no. I'm cut here and here, SEE." Then Wild lifts up her top and shows us her breast, her incisions, and bruising. Donna aka Big Red yells out for the whole salon to hear "Holy shit you have Frankenstein tits!!"All of us couldn't keep a straight face for the rest of the day. BTW We had lots of P.I.A.s today and one or two M.I.A.s. I just love working with these women. You never know what they will do, or say next.



Ancient Chinese Disease

I am really suffering tonight from that ancient Chinese disease aka Dragon Ass. Yes my butt's on the floor tonight so I will do a good blog tomorrow. Mikey


Part One: Why People Are Upset Part Two: The Story Part Three: The Answers

This week you found out certain people were upset and angry, and sad. Today I am going to reveal what I know. A certain person at one of the local non profit organizations was terminated this week (not Jules or Sizzle). This person has had certain health problems lately from being overweight. This person was amazing at what they could accomplished for the clients of this non profit organization. Very knowlegdable at what they did, loved by co workers, clients adored this person. They were willing to take that step, inch, extra mile, for the clients other people didn't want to handle, or didn't have the knowledge or patience to handle. I also know certain clients were to go to board meeting last night in behalf of this employee to get them reinstated. I haven't herd any feed back on what happened and if they went to the board meeting. If I didn't have to work, I would have been at that board meeting myself. There I said what I know!!

Yesterday, I told you I was going to tell you a baby transgender story that my boss knew. This may offend some people please skip to part 3 if you don't want to read this portion. I told you how one of my boss's client's adopted daughters had penis envy and he brought up the topic of transgenders. A friend of his up in San Francisco is a transgender and wanted to give birth to a child. Since youth, this transgender would dress up as pregnant women, pregnant nuns, if it was female and pregnant it, he dressed it. In the navy he became a nurse and worked in the maternity ward. After leaving the navy he found work in the maternity wards of hospitals. He was so excited about births that real parents used to give him pictures of the babies being born. One night up in S. F. My boss and the transgender went out to eat in Chinatown. After eating and paying their bill the transgender slipped one the birthing pictures into one of the menu's of the restaurant. He asked my boss to stay and watch the persons reaction when they saw this picture. The next customer to come in was this robust black woman. The transgender seeing this woman asked my boss to step out for this persons reaction. The black woman sits down for a good meal, opens the menu, and yelled "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS" This I feel is sick, twisted, but humors and something I would never have done.

Since no one knew or commented on the dark knight quiz here are the answers in order. Lewis Wilson (1943) Robert Lowery (1949) Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and Christian Bale.




After tossing and turning from a very bad nights sleep. Looking at my alarm clock thinking shit I can't sleep and only a damn half hour went by. I need to get some sleep for today. My day started off about 7:15 where I had to go to one of the county buildings and deal with my medical insurance.

I returned home and try to get a few more zzzz's. No luck what so ever. So I jump in the shower, got cleaned up for the salon. I headed up to the Org. to say hi to Jules, and Ms. Sizzle (who wasn't in yet) then go to the salon. I walked into the salon to find out they are having a pot luck day not informing the newest employee(me) and me feeling like an ass for I didn't know bring an item. ( BTW they do adore me at the salon, and think I am the cutest thing on three legs).

So my boss's roomie calls up (acting like his wife) informing my boss that she locked herself out of the house. A few minutes later she shows up to pick up the key to the house, bring a gay male friend along I shall call Mark. I leave the room to give them space (my boss is working with a client at the time they arrived) and have a smoke. Mark exits the building alone, me outside puffing away and I asked Mark "Does my boss want me" thinking he needed help. Wrong thing to say to a gay man about a gay man. He raised one eye brow and stated" Does your boss want you? Hmm? The truth is I don't know." Blush. I stepped into that one putting my foot in mouth. Thinking "Ok", that was the sexual content for the day, the rest of the day will go without more sexual content. WRONG

A few hours pass, and a few clients to boot, thinking everything thing is kosher. Our next client is what my boss calls a P. I. A. ((P)ain (I)n the (A)ss). Having met this client once before and for me to say this client really is a P.I.A. should tell you something. This person is very high maintenance. I do all the task my boss needs for this client and I ask to take a break and go get some beef for supper to cook when I got home from work. He says sure I leave, get the beef and come back. Putting the beef in the refrigerator, Donna a co worker comes into the break room and asked where I went. I said "I went to get a piece of meat for supper." She says to me " Honey, I hope that is not the only meat that you get in this lifetime." Blush. Flabbergasted the only thing I can think of to say back is "Me too."

So I walk back into the room where my boss is still working on the P.I.A. and the client says "You have this movie out now about you guys. What's it called something like Brokenback Mountain, Brakeback Mountain, Bareback Mountain when the client said this my boss and I looked at each other and start laughing our asses off. For those of you who do don't know. Bare backing in the gay community is having anal sex without a condom. We never did explain this to the P.I.A..

The P.I.A. leaves, the next client arrives who has been friends of my boss for years. In the middle of her dye job, she brings up that her adopted, young daughter has penis envy. My boss and I so surprised by this statement we both said 'WHAT?" at the same time. She told us that her daughter would tell her in the middle of a crowded store " Look mommy that doll has a penis". She also informed her mother that she wanted a penis. Yes, she learned that word and the mother doesn't know where, or from whom. I was thinking no boss please don't mention strap on toys. He didn't thank god. He did say that she might be a transgender and go from female to male. No her daughter was not with her. The mother got some really good advice about how to break her daughter of penis envy from another friend. So here it is "Tell your daughter boys cannot have babies and you are special as a girl that you can have a baby." That broke the daughter of most of her penis envy. That also brought up a whole other story for my boss in which I will tell tomorrow. Tomorrow you will also find out the names of the 7 actors in live action films which featured Batman as the title character. The third part of tomorrow's posting will be why I am angry and people are upset.


The Dark Knight, Do You Know Who The Mag. 7 Are?

Yesterday, I was reading the blog of Miss Bliss in which she stated she wanted to date Batman. I asked Bliss which one she liked best? If it was Christian Bale we were going to have a fight over him. Bale has signed on to play Batman again to be released in 2008. Batman aka the dark knight started out as a comic book hero and has gone onto movies, cartoons, TV, ect. Reading an article I found out that Bale was the seventh actor to play Batman in a live action flick. So I am putting it out there today. Can you name all seven actors who played Batman? I'll give you a hint. The two you don't know played Batman in 1943 and 1949. I will give you the answers in a day or two.



Beef It's What The Body Craves

For the last few weeks my body has been craving beef. Steak, roast, hamburger, meatloaf you name it, my gut wants it. I haven't had such bad cravings for something in a long time. I do know that beef is a good source of protein. I just wonder if it is that I am exercising more lately? I must ride anywhere from 2 to 15 miles a day on my bike. Every few hours I seem to be slamming small meals down my throat. Then I try to eat one big meal a day. I just can't get a full stomach. Was I so sick the last few years that my body was starving and now saying "We are going to eat to the extreme." Could this be away of my body telling me "Hey, we are doing real well, this will make us even better." McDonald's, Burger King, and Erik's Deli Abbot's Habit with no goo have been my best friends the past few weeks. No, I am not like that idiot who did "Super Size Me" and I do not get my meals super sized. I do not eat every meal at the nearest fast food joint just to eat.

Just to give you an indication of what I mean. Yesterday, I had four helpings of Kirkland lasagna with meat sauce (6 pounds for less then 12 dollars) , a one pound Ranchers Reserve steak smothered with A1, two small baked potatoes with sour cream. As I told you yesterday, I try to write my postings the night before (it's about 8:30 PM when I am writing this one) and post them the next morning. I will most likely have a snack a little later. So give me some feed back on your thoughts about the endless pit cravings for beef, and food in general I have been having lately.



The Meeting

Sometimes I like to write my postings the night before, wake up the next morning, fire up my computer, go down stairs, make my Christian Crank (aka coffee), check e mail, then change my draft posting to publish. The information I am going to pass on to you today I feel is to important to wait. Last night I went to a county HIV/Aids task force meeting and learned that the rapid HIV/AIDS testing was having problems. This particular test is the " Orasure Rapid HIV Test." It is a twenty minute test used by many anonymous testing facilities to test for the HIV virus. This is also the test that they use here in Santa Cruz county for testing. This was the first of two test I had when I found out I was positive.

From the information at the meeting, the test is now giving false positive results in the California testing areas, and or they are conclusive results. Just like a home pregnancy test ( yeah, how would I know that one). Their is a control line and a line that develops underneath the control line if you are positive after soaking in the solution for twenty minutes. With this particular batch California received, the test lines are lighter then usual, and they are only going half way across the mouth swab. This has happened in two major testing areas here, Los Angeles, and San Francisco, and even here in Santa Cruz. Usually the test is 99.99 percent accurate L. A., and S. F. are about 99.3 percent at this posting. Still a pretty good accuracy conclusive rate. Personally I like that rapid testing. You do not have to wait at home pondering if you are, or not positive for two weeks. So don't be afraid to get tested. Don't be like me thinking your fine if you haven't been intimate with someone for awhile. Early detection is the best thing you can do for yourself.


The Wetsuit Wiggle

I can always tell when I am not going through one of my depression stages from the meds I take everyday. How is that you ask yourself? Well I start to look at guys again and think hmm I like to do him, and him and him. Living in one of the surf capitols of the world you get to see a lot of nice, and not so nice bodies getting in and out of their wetsuits. I call this the wetsuit wiggle. Where their wetsuit's have such a tight seal they have to wiggle their gorgeous bodies just to get in and out of them. Sometimes if your really lucky, you might get a really nice, tight, bare, butt shot should their towels happen to fall. Sometimes I wonder if they do it on purpose to draw attention to themselves. So once in awhile I like to ride up to Steamers Lane, or to Pleasure Point and see a nice piece or two of eye candy. If you have ever watched the movie "The Lost Boys" you have seen the "LANE" at the beginning of the film when they are driving into town.



Anger Management

I wouldn't have liked to have been around me last night. First with the break into the house. Second I go into my bathroom draw reserved for me, and it is cleaned out. My good razor is gone, my ear syringe, everything missing but my clippers and guards which were put into there case, one of two of my father's (who passed away a few years ago) electric razors is missing in action. That means a roommate went through my crap and threw everything out, or took it without asking if I wanted to keep the item. No one here in house has really seen me lose my temper. Last night I was slamming things down, slamming doors shut, muttering curses left and right all night. I didn't need to go into that drawer for the last couple weeks for what I needed was on the bathroom counter. Why is it always my stuff that gets taken, broken, abused, or disappears by some asshole who can't keep their grubby mits to themselves. Granted I am only 5'4" and 140 pounds with only 10 percent of body fat, but I so wanted to roll a few heads. I really hoped that asshole who broke into our house returned so I could take my anger out on them, make them bleed like hell, then afterwards call the police and have the bastard, or bitch depending on their gender arrested for breaking and entering. For those who know me I am the most generous, gentle, giving soul you would ever meet and not a violent bone in my body. For me to feel the way I did last night should give you an indication how pissed off I was, and that the people who were around me pushed me way beyond my breaking point. If one close friends would have seen me last night they would have said I needed an anger management class. Did I sleep with one of my swords? Yes I did, the biggest one. With the scabboard in one hand and the hilt in the other hand for a quick release. Did I awake up every hour and a half and check the house? Oh yeah. Did I need to set my alarm clock? Nope, my body did it all on it's own.



The Break In Part Two

Ok I am really freaked out now about this break in we had last night. I went into the room in which it happened. With a lot of pushing, shoving, pounding, I managed to lock the windows. I go to close the door and relock it. What happens? The door won't stay closed!!! I check the door knob and it won't turn from being in the locked position. Made to look like it's still lock so I wouldn't know someone else was in the house So I check the part that goes into the door frame to see if that part was stuck. What do I find? That whole piece is missing!!! So unless a friend or someone comes over today I will be spending most of the day in the house. I am going to be sleeping with one of my swords tonight. Beware whoever you have pushed this man over the edge and I will protect my belongings and self. Yes, you have brought out the Conner MacLeod, and the Mutant queen from hell both at once which is not a pretty sight!!! I think maybe they have been in before. I told Jules the other week I thought I herd someone else in the house. That night, sword in hand I checked everything and didn't find anyone.


The Break In

Lately the nights here in the Santa Cruz have been unusually colder then normal. I get up this morning to make a strong pot of coffee and for one reason or another I have to go into the hall way downstairs. Now my room is in the opposite corner upstairs of the big ass Victorian house where I live until February. I keep my door closed to keep the heat in because something is wrong with the heat in the house so I use my space heater. If someone is really quiet, I cannot hear them in my room. I walked by the a former roommates door and it's opened slightly ajar. Now understand that the wicked witch of the west aka the property manager locked every bedroom in the house but mine. I looked at the window and it's open about four inches and to top it all off the outside screen is off and laying on the ground. From a quick glance, I didn't see anything missing. Could someone have been scooping out the house to steal something later? Did some homeless person break in just to get out of the cold? I just don't know right now. I am slightly freaked out, I am going to have to find somehow to lock that window today. Thank God that I am safe, and nothing seems to be missing. What I really like to know is who it was, and how did they know no one was living downstairs. Was it someone that lived here before and knew that window had problems locking playing head games with me? Could it have been a former flopper of ex roommates? These are questions I will never find out the answers to. Right now I want to keep that door wide open, set my alarm every few minutes to check the room tonight. Should I pull an all nighter and stay up tonight and catched the person if they come in again wielding one of my swords in my hand and scare the shit out of them? Should I become the mutant queen from hell, or become Conner MacLeod because "There can only be one" in the house right now according to the wicked witch. Right now I feel my personal space has been violated, and my safety maybe at risk from not knowing who was here in the house.



Driver's Off And On Top Of The World

First off I want to wish my ex roomie Driver the best of luck. We had our problems in the past, but dude I wish you the best and thank you for coming into my life. I know you will do well where you are going. I have had a MAJOR attitude shift these past two weeks. With starting to work again, the news from the doctor, the new bike and bike shoes, the fabulous (LOLOL) hair cut and dye job by my boss. I feel like I am on top of the world. To celebrate I went to one of my favorite restaurant's here in town and had a great meal. Cheese ravioli with meat sauce I am such a pasta fanatic it's not funny. After I ate, I wanted to stand in the middle of Pacific avenue (the main drag here in Santa Cruz) block all traffic, and sing at the top of my lungs "I'm Walking on Sunshine." No, I haven't found that significant other. Now I am starting to feel like I can have one and not be sick all the time. That I will be able to function in the real world. I really need to thank my nurse, doctor, Jules and her amazing family, Ms. Sizzle, Matthew, Chris, River, Ms. Youth, and Ruby for not giving up on me. You are all the best, and most wonderful people I know.



Congrats And New Toys

First of all I want to shout out A BIG CONGRATS TO Ms. SIZZLE!!!! She just found out she is going to be an aunt. Now isn't it funny how humans are very protective of their new toys. I really noticed this with my new bike, and I have seen people do this with their new cars, CD's, DVD's ect. We highly prize them until that first scratch, or ding, the first flaw we find. I was contemplating why we do this to our new toys. Do we just get used to them after awhile? Do we get bored with them? Is it that we want better toys, or we can't afford to buy new ones? Do we want the upgraded versions of the ones we already own? If anyone has an answer please let me know.



Ugly Step Sister

So you all know I am working for a hair dresser that specializes in hair pieces for cancer patients, transgenders, ect. I get to my work today and we have a few shipments for clients waiting for us. Larry, my boss and I open up the packages to see which ones we received. One of the shipments contained a new hair piece which is not on the market as of the date of this posting. The company president in which Larry orders his wigs from wanted Larry's opinion on this new hair piece. The piece is made out of human hair and has a completely latex foundation. So my boss asks me to sit down in his chair and put this wig on so he can test the hair piece. I sit down in the chair, he slips the piece on my head willingly. I look in the mirror and blurt out. "Damn I look like an ugly step sister." The women in Cinderella have nothing on me. I am so glad I am not a cross dresser, or a transgender I just don't have the bone structure to pull off being a woman. On top of that I see all the maintenance that goes into keeping a hair piece looking presentable. I have found new respect for transgenders and cross dressers that have good hair pieces.



The Best News I have Had In A Long Time

Before I tell you the news I received I want to tell you what I have been threw the past few years. According to my doctor I was infected sometime in 2001. Not thinking I needed to be tested I was getting sicker, and sicker, and not knowing I was sick. I was losing strength, energy , weight and not really thinking anything was wrong. I didn't want to go out and do anything from being fatigued all the time. On my days off I just wanted to stay home and chill in front of the TV. So in August and September of 2004 this white stuff was forming in my mouth. I later on found it was thrush. I had it so bad I could hardly swallow, talk, eat, and it was coming out of my mouth. I was actually coughing up chunks of thrush. I went to seek medical help and no one would help me, and I didn't have the money to see a doctor because of no income being so sick and not being able to work. I was maybe able to work 10 hours a week at my job. So finally Matthew my ex asked his doctor about thrush and his doctor asked him if I was tested lately for HIV? I wasn't tested between 2001 - 2004 because I wasn't intimate with anyone and felt I didn't need to be tested. September 30, 2004 is the day I was tested for HIV/AIDS and found out I was positive. It was exactly one week before my birthday. Then everyone wanted to help me. Was I devastated? Yes. I went to the doctor and my viral load was 555,221 and my T cells were at 65, my weight was at 110 pounds. Yes, I found out I had full blown AIDS. The second week in November of 2004 I ended up in the emergency room from being allergic to one of the anti virals I was taking at the time. Two weeks later, my land lord evicted Matthew and me because I couldn't pay the rent from being so sick, and my benefits have not been released yet. I was basically homeless and an organization here put me into a hotel for a week. This happened Thanksgiving week and the week after Thanksgiving, and I was made to pack and move being deathly ill. I ended up in a HIV support house. Since moving in there, I have had three room mates pass away from HIV. My viral load and t cells bouncing all around the place. I have dealt with people who were drug addicts and floppers. Now I want to bring you to October of 2005. My benefits run out and have no income. I go to the doctor T cells are at 483 viral load count 353. I tried to find a job but having very bad GI problems which I am still having and the doctor isn't sure what is causing the problem. After a lot of road blocks, troubles and tribulations from October threw December I'll bring you to January 2006. I started working part time for a hair dresser. See Hair Today Gone Tomorrow. So now it is yesterday. I have an appointment with my doctor in the afternoon. I walk in the doctor's office think wow with the stress I have been under, my viral load and T cell count are going to be out of this world. So I ask him how bad is the damage. Well he Said " Well there is good news and bad news. First your T cells went down 100 points but were at 399. The good news is your viral load is undetectable, and your white blood cell count went up to 20 percent. So we really think your T cell count is a false reading." The first word out of my mouth was "WHAT" he repeated what he said. The viral load is undetectable, and on top of that the 16 months of having thrush was gone. After September and October of 2004 that wasn't even in my mind possible. This gets better my roomy Driver came back and purchased a new Specialized bike for me this morning and when I went to pick up the bike there was a credit on my account for a new pair of bike shoes!!. Am I feeling like I am finally getting some breaks? Hell Yeah. Do I feel like my life is turning around now? You bet your sweet booty. So let's just say I have had the best 24 hours, and the best news I have had in a long, long time. Also to top it all off Driver is paying for the tattoo I wanted for awhile and got dial up for a month so I am back on the web. I am going to have to do something special for him before he leaves!!! I am moving into another HIV support house as of February 1st. Am I excited? Oh yeah, it even has a fireplace and bath tub.



New Years Wishes

I realized I haven't made a wish list for this year or any resolutions. So last night I was in my room watching "Gorillas In The Mist" thinking about what I wanted out of life and what things I would like to do this year. Here our a few things on my list:

1; Go Sky diving
2; Take some sort of vacation (It's been at least 9 years or more since I had a real one)
3; Get a new bicycle or better transportation then I have now
4; To over come my fear of dating and find a boyfriend since I am positive I am so afraid I will infect someone
5; For this salon job to become permanent and to find a job Mondays threw Wednesdays
6; Not to become a bitch but be able to speak my mind with people about how I feel or how I am thinking instead of holding my tongue. I am way too kind hearted for my own good.
7; A new bedroom set I am tired of the black liqueur set I have had for oomph teen years
8; Some new toys like an Ipod, webcam just some really kewl stuff
9: To get my life organized and be able to handle my bills
10; For my one fantasy to come true those who know me know what this one is LOL

These are just a few things I am thinking about for this year. Do I now have hope in my life again? I would say the answer is a resounding YES. Will anyone of these wishes, hopes dreams come true? I will have to wait and see what this year brings for me. It can't be any worse then the last couple years. Lets face it. The last year and a half has been a living hell for me. LOL



Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

Well I haven't been able to write a lot the past few days. Why is that? Well as you all know I haven't been able to pay my internet bill and have to find sources where I can get on the net. Should today I write about Drivers friend waking me up at 5:30 in the morning and me not being able to get back to sleep? No I will tell you about the gentleman I am helping out now three days a week. Yes I started working for a gentleman who does hair pieces for transgenders, cancer patients, people who have obsessive compulsive disorder in which the twist and pull there hair out. The job is very easy and the genlteman said I am way over qualified for his needs. I went into the job interview and came out with a part time job, a hair cut and a really good bleach job. So click onto his sight and see what I am doing. Oh yeah I still need to find a job to fill in Mondays threw Wednesdays.



Down Till Tuesday

I don't have a lot of time to write because the library is about to close. So my next posting will be Tuesday.



A Hurting Day

I really think the past few days have caught up to me. Pulling up carpets Monday afternoon. My new once a week cleaning job on Tuesdays. I can understand why my arms and shoulders are hurting today. Could someone please tell me why my inner thighs and the outside of butt cheeks are hurting? Yes they are so sore today I can barely sit or walk. Going up stairs is a nightmare and a half. I could understand if I did an illegal substance, or was sexually active and was with someone but I haven't!! To be honest it's been about four years since I have been intimate with anyone. That is one hurdle I need to overcome since being diagnosed with HIV. So today is a relaxing day for me. Jules I need your bath tub.



The Interview And Being To Honest

Well today I went to my first job interview today for the first time in oomph teen years. Nervous as hell and keeping my composure I walked in confidently for a five minute meeting dressed to the nines. Now the job is only for 5 days as a greeter, handing out coffee, popcorn making clients happy. I can do that any day. So hopefully next week I'll have a few days of work and have pocket money and some to pay bills. I am way to honest to a fault. Today I was riding my bike in the Capitola area and notice this beautiful red bike with no seat just laying on the sidewalk. No ID, not locked up just laying there by a busy street. Now understand my good bike was stolen a few years back in the same area and the one I'm riding isn't in the best of shape. So I was like do I take the bike and have nice wheels to ride, or do I just leave it there, or do I contact the police. Well it didn't take very long for me to get my answer. Since having my good bike stolen and knowing the awful feeling of being violated. A local sheriff drove by so I flag him down and reported the bike to him. He said he was from the wrong district and would contact the correct authorities. So I could have had nice wheels, but everyday I would have had to looked at that bike and have a very guilty conscience. That I could not live with me being me.



The Word Of God

I was riding around on my bike today and read a sign on a church. The Sign read "Don't give up Moses was once a basket case." If this wasn't a sign from the universe hitting me over the head stating I am going to be fine I don't know what is? Does someone have to stick their foot up my but for things to get more clearer. So with the support of the universe, my dearest friends, the Org. I know things will get better.




I usually don't read my daily or weekly horoscope but I was sitting in our library waiting to go on the net and open one of our locale free rags. The rag is entitled "Good Times." In this rag on the second to the last back page is "Astrology." Well for all who know me are going to get a big kick at what this woman had to write about my sign. So here it is: Libra: "Be aware that at times an over abundance of niceness towards others can overtaxed your entire system. Charming Libras actually need solitary quiet periods to revivify their nervous system. You are a gentle soul and many know this. So they ask a lot of you. It's time to be home. You are nourished there." When I read this I started to laugh it is almost right on the money. The only thing that wasn't right you ask yourself. Where is his nervous system being overtaxed at? Well it's my home. LOLOLOL So what I do is come to the library and nourish myself there. There are worst ways I can think of doing this. Trust me sometimes I REALLY want to. So for all who know me, or are fans of my writing I knew you would like this information.



Oh What An Emotional Week From The Bads To The Fantastics

This week has REALLY been something else needless to say. The first few days were very stressful. I found out my medical insurance ran out December 31 when I went to have my 3 month lab work done. What was to be a 5 to 20 minute experience turned into a hour and a half ordeal. Then later in the week I found out some disturbing news about some I know and I totally wig out Wednesday night to the point I was up for over 24 hours. So Thursday afternoon guess who shows up after I take a sleeping pill. That's right the landlord. There I am slurring like there's no tomorrow, trying to talk to her drooling from the mouth. Enough said about that!! So Friday (after bottoming out emotionally) what the hell happens? I have one of the best days in my life I had for a long time. Two people want to talk to me about employing me!!! Right On!!!! I did't have dress cloths in my wardrobe and found some vouchers from a locale thrift store which I usually can't find a damn thing in my size. What do I find? A nice dress shirt in my size, dress slacks, shoes, a nice tie. Maybe the universe is saying it's time now to give him his breaks. So Friday was an amazing day. Thank you Jenny Two Times!!!!!!
Ok I'm going to change the subject but still deals with what I have written today. Someone in my life mentioned that I am very susceptible to peoples emotions. Almost most to the point of being empathic. I knew this but never looked at it in that light. Dealing with someone who isn't the most stablest person in town. Made me screwed up in the head. So what I learned is this! I need positive people (no pun intended there) in my life.



Murder On The Orient Express

Threw all the drama in my life right now I have been watching some of my favorite older films from our public library. I remember watching "Murder" with one of my sisters late at night on our couch when I was in my teens. Well I absolutely love the writing, the cast, and the off beat remarks some of the characters have to say. Such as (abriged version):

character 1: I was hiding in my room with my eyes close.

character 2: How do you know it was a man?

character 1: I had a wonderful relationship we both my husbands.

character 2: With your eyes closed Madame?

character 1: It helped!!

Then there is a whole gag with Anthony Perkins and how much he loved his mother. As you know Anthony played Norman Bates.

The ultimate line said by this elderly actress who's name I do not know which gets me every time is:

character 1: You do not smile Madame.

Elderly woman (rasping): My doctor has advised me against it.

So if you like older films, great murder mystery and star studded cast that beats all!! Rerent "Murder On the Orient Express" and have a fun night.



A Down Day

Well today I am feeling really down. I am in my house alone totally unplug from the world in the evenings. There are only so many good movies at the public library you can watch. Only so many times you can play scrabble and Mine Sweep on the computer. So being stir crazy is a fact of life. So tomorrow I hope to be more myself with the help from my doctor, and other people in my life. That's all for today. I am not in a writing mood.



Starting To Listen

Well I think people are finally starting to listen to me about my health issues. The nausea in the mornings and not feeling well till later in the afternoon. The stress and the anxiety, not knowing when they are going to evicted me. I may get a pay as you go job a person from the Org. They are also going to finally try to get me on SSI. I just wish my internet was up to keep me sanity. I could also be moving into another Hiv house in the next few weeks. Would I like to find a full time job. Yes I would, but with my health issues could I handle one? It would be difficult. So we will see what happens and keep our fingers cross for my survival. Did I want to do something stupid over the New Years break? Yes I wanted to use real bad. I wanted to also have a bottle of poppers and a man in my bed. I wanted all three!!! So I'll say it again I'm going to keep my fingers cross.



Happy New Year