525,600 Minutes X 2

Tomorrow is the day that I will have known I was positive for two years. I will not rehash my story. If you want that, you can click on my side bar and read that posting.

Over the past 2 years, I have had three roomies that have died from complications from HIV/AIDS. I have had numerous tests along with who knows how much blood work done along with being evicted twice do to benefits not being there.

Now looking back before I was positive, I lived in a black hole. I can say that it took HIV/AIDS to start enjoying my life. Just the other night someone commented on one of my postings. "I am new to the positive world. You give me inspiration and hope."

When I read that comment I teared up and had to step away from my computer. Just knowing that I was able to give someone hope that was newly diagnosed touched me deeply.

In the next few weeks this blog will also be celebrating it's first year anniversary. I have also started putting postings on my page on myspace. A few months ago the Gay Guru and I started a HIV/AIDS website in which I help to write and edit. It's been sometime since that site has been updated but we are starting up again on October 7th (the day after my birthday).

I have found in the last two years an inner strength in myself. I have found that putting out what it's like having, and living with HIV/AIDS on the web my calling in life at this time. If I can give hope to more people living the this disease then my life will have been fulfilled.

Again I am now having dreams, wants and aspirations. I would like to start dating for one. I started thinking about get nicer monetary things. I would love to be able to take a vacation one day to somewhere really nice.

I would like to thank everyone who has supported and helped me in the last two years. My journey in life is not yet complete. My goal is to educate and help those who have and don't have HIV/AIDS.

Another Wicked Wed. Ass Icons

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by
:-)

:-(

Well, how about some "ASS ICONS?"
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

(_%^&%_) a bitchy ass

Have fun Blog Buddys,
(_ZZZ_) Mikey

Blogger's Block

I'm ok I just have blogger's block. I will post in the next day or two.

Mikey

Tour Of Work

I still can't get YOU Tube to send my videos to blogger beta. I did a video tour of my work. You can click here to watch.

The Dream

Did you ever have one of those dreams where you didn't want to wake up?Well I had one of those last night. I was so blissful and my dream I didn't want to come back to the reality of the real world.

In this dream I was with a some hot dudes. No, this wasn't a sex dream!! We were at a location in which I didn't recognize. We all had wetsuits on and were skim boarding down hill on a mountain freeway.

It was so kewl we went down the mountain twice. Then the dude in my dream and I joked around that other people need to do what we just done.

Then after we talked we were hungry and there happen to be a restaurant at the bottom of the mountain. We walked in and the dude whispered into the waitresses ear. Yes he bought me breakfast and hit on me.

All of a sudden I bolted awake. I had had to use the bathroom!! So I went to the bathroom and went back to sleep. Needless to say I was unable to get back into that dream. Damn!!

Did I Want To Die?

My two year anniversary is coming up on September 30 of when I found out I had HIV/AIDS. This is a posting that's has been in my head all day and compelled to put it on this blog.

Two years ago I was barely able to get out of bed and move. I tried to seek help but without having medical insurance and too sick to work, I wasn't able to obtain the medical attention I so desired.

With oral thrush so bad I could hardly eat, drink, swallow let alone talk, the HIV/AIDS virus was running rampant in my body. Finally my ex took me to get tested for AIDS.

I was thinking I would be negative, for I haven't slept with anyone the prior three years to being tested. So in a small private testing room I found out I had AIDS. I remember distinctly bursting into tears when I found out I was positive. It took me half an hour to compose myself enough to walk out of the room and walk to Matthew's car so we could go home.

On the way home Matthew made me promise not to kill myself. When we got back to our place, I went up to bed and cried myself to sleep. Did I want to die that night? Yes I did thinking I was going to die anyway in a few weeks.

Now it's almost two years later. I am in a much better place I feel then I have been in along time. I am very open about being positive and striving to educate the web about living with HIV/AIDS on a daily basis.

From having found out I had full blown AIDS to now only being HIV positive, having counseling about dealing with the disease, I have more inner strength then I thought possible.

I know now, I will have my good days and my bad days. I know that I could always take a turn for the worst at any moment. I now live with the joy of just being alive. That finding out you have full blown AIDS is NOT an automatic death sentence and it's a joy just to be alive.

Chat Room

I'll admit I am a chat room addict. Yes there is one chat room I absolutely love and I hang out on line at nights. Some of you need to get your mind out the the gudder for it is not a men for men room. It's Ross "The Intern" Mathews chat room from "The Tonight Show."

Every time Ross is on "The Tonight Show" the chat room goes nuts and last night was no exception. We went from 21 to 101 people from the east coast feed of the show.

What was different last night we had people coming in making hateful, spiteful comments about his sexual orientation. Ross has NEVER said anything about his orientation and people are assuming that he is gay. Until Ross makes an announcement about his orientation we don't know for sure if he is or is not gay. A good example are actors playing gay roles.

Last night people came in bashing on Ross. The regular chatters considered the room "A HATE FREE ZONE!" Bashing is not allowed on Ross or anyone else. It showed me the bigotry that is in this country and the redneck morality this administration is still teaching!!

I go to his chat room as a stress release from everyday life. Laughter they say is the best medicine. Those who know me well in the flesh and on line know I love to laugh. Yes we do have a few people that like to cause "drama" on a regular basis. Those are the voices of the ones and not the many.

I'll still keep going into the chat room and having a good time. If I read you bashing someone on their sexual orientation I going to slam your asses so you are fore warned.

If you like to talk to me some night in the chat room you can click here. It will take you right to the login page. I'm known in there as MikeySantaCruz.

Dear #43

Dear #43,
Why can't you tell the American public the truth for once. First we went to war in Iraq because of weapons of mass destruction. When none was found, now it's the war terrorism.

If our men can find what's his name buried in a hole, why can't we find Bin Laden? For me, I don't really think you want to find him. It is your only foot hold to keep yourself in office.

You are running this country down in the ground and your clueless on how to turn it around. We are loosing are best allies and they don't want to deal with us because of what you have done.

Tony Blair is resigning because of you. France and Germany didn't want you to go to war on Iraq because they didn't believe that country had weapons of mass destruction. Those countries were right.

All I hear lately is that you have broken every constitutional right of every American and your poll ratings show how we feel about you. You using your 911 speech to promote your political authority was outrageous.

Those people died because of you. You knew something big was going to happen and you didn't warn us. Why are you taking credit for something the English government forted.

I wish you would just resign or get impeached and take that pet "DICK" you have along beside you. Let someone else get this country back on track. I know I will be voting for Hillary in 2008. She sure as hell can do a lot better of a job then you and your party is doing! I'm not even going to get into stem cell research and the NSA.

A Question Today

If you have sex in Denver, are you part of the mile high club? If your in a plane would that put you in the two mile high club?

Respect For Those Who Died There Is No Commenting Today

The Reyataz Mess up

My pharmacy messed up the dosage on the new med. I am to take. Click here to watch me talk about the mess up. So I have to stay on Truvada which is shutting down my kidneys till I straighten out the mix up.

10 Things I Want To Do In My Life

1) Be in a shark cage with a great white swimming around me

2) Go swimming with dolphins.

3) Go whale watching

4) Try bungee jumping

5) Ride in a hot air balloon

6) Go to Disney World

7) Go to the San Diego zoo

8) Go to Sea World in San Diego

9) Go skydiving

10) Get back to NYC and see another Broadway show

These are not in order of priority

I'm In A Slightly Negative Place

Now that the shock of the doctors visit is over, I find myself to be in a slightly negative mood. I know I am going to have to work threw these times living with HIV/AIDS. I have also learned in myself that it's alright to give myself permission to feel negative once in awhile.

The doctor doesn't think that the kidney failure is permanent. They are working at 54%. He did say that it would take awhile for me to recuperate from the Viread in the Truvada.

I think what upset me more then finding out about my kidneys was my numbers. My viral load went from undetectable to 658 and my T-cells went from 469 to 440.

I also called the Santa Cruz Aids Project to let them know I wouldn't be participating in the 60 mile bike ride on October first. I do not want to put more strain on my body then what is necessary. I will admit I am disappointed and they said I could still ride is I was up for the ride.

I also found out that with the beta version of blogger dashboard I can't comment on some blogs like Donnie at mugshot mania and Wat's blog. Blogger said we would be able to in the future.

I want to thank everyone for their support. This is just another hurdle in life's journey I need to overcome living with HIV.

My Kidneys Are Failing From Viread

One of the HIV/AIDS meds is making my kidneys fail. Since YOU Tube wouldn't load to blogger BETA version. You can click here to see me talk about this hurdle.

Upgraded To Beta Version

I updated this blog to a beta version. I'm hoping now I can comment on more blogs plus also see and read more blogs. I noticed they still don't have the template I like. I will post a video posting later today after I see the doctor. Hugs Mikey

To all My Friends

Crikey Mikey, Steve Irwin's Dead

I'll admit it, I was a fan of Steve Irwin's aka "The Crocodile Hunter." I may not have agreed with some of his antics like the controversy with his son in 2004, but no one can disagree that he had a love of animals.

Mr. Irwin tried to educate the public about natures beast. Yes, his love was the crocs was over the top, but he featured all animals on his show. Him and his wife Terri believed all animals had the right to survive on this earth.

Mr. Irwin died doing what he loved, filming a documentary on the deadliest animals in the world. He was stung by a sting ray and passed away on Sunday.

Most people don't know that the sting ray is a member of the shark family. When you go to aquariums and pet sting rays, your petting a ray who's barb has been cut off it's tail.

Now Mr. Irwin can can watch all of Gods creatures from heaven. Just to show you what a good sport he was mates, you can click here to see Mr. Irwin's amazing sense of humor.

Their Going To Need A Bigger Tank

So you all know I am a huge, huge, Great White Shark fanatic. Ever since the movie "Jaws" came out, I've been obsessed with Great Whites. Yes, those beast of the sea that strikes terror in the hearts of men are one of my favorite creatures on earth.

One of my all time fantasies is to be in a shark cage with a great white swimming around the cage in the open water. I may never fulfill this fantasy, but it's one of my seven things I want to do in life.

Back in December of 2004 when I was really sick, I received free passes to the Monterey Bay Aquarium where they had the first surviving baby great white in captivity in one of their tanks. Unfortunately I had to give those passes away due to being so ill. Matthew knew I was upset about not seeing her that he took me down in February to see my first live great white shark. One week later they released her so it was meant to be that I saw her.

Well a night or two ago I herd on the news, that the Monterey Bay Aquarium has another baby great white on display. This time it's a male baby great white. I asked Jules today if she would like to go to the aquarium in the next few weeks before they release this great white shark . She said she would see what she could do for us to go to the aquarium to see this wonderful beast.

If you like to view this magnificent wonder of the sea, you can click here for their live view cam.

Canadian Idol Fart

Ooops