Wicked Weds. The TGIF Hounds

Screwed And Frustrated

And I don't want the world to see
Because I don't think they understand
When everythings made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

From Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

Before writing the main body of this posting I need to thank a few people.

Jules for allowing me to start to go over to her house starting next week to work on the HIV/AIDS site when I am not working.

To Janet from the Ross chat room for lending me an ear to bitch.

To Berry from the Ross chat room for calling me up and trying to save my computer.

To my computer tech you have gone far beyond what was called for so I thank you. I think I just need a new system for my needs. Thank you again.

I feel trapped and isolated by my computer suddenly crashing. I have many friends here on the net who I have met writing in the GBBMC, the Ross chat, and just searching the web for new bloggers. I am frustrated that I cannot see how you are doing from reading your writing. I miss you guys soo much. I am going threw blogger and internet withdraw.

I feel like I am screwed and frustrated at this time. I have tried to be very supportive of my friends on the net and I know you have been supportive of me. I want to thank you all!!!! I just wish I wouldn't have to claw like a tiger all the time just trying to make it in this great big world.

Right now I want to go into a corner and crawl up in a ball and hide from the world. I have to face the fact that nothing will ever come easy for me. Just once I wish I could do something good and not be slapped down to the garbage pit of hell with no way out. Just once I would like to help people without feeling I am penalized in some way for my actions.

So I am asking God, the universe, who or whatever the higher being should be "Will I not be rewarded in this plain of existences? Will my reward have to wait until my passing? Am I too good for this world and by threw my writing and my actions give the people of the world only a glimpse of what this world should really be?

I am not a profit, and I am far from a saint. I am not a religious Icon, nor God, nor an angel. I do not want to be envied nor worshipped placed on a pedestal. I would love for the privilege to perceiver what I have been threw in this world. I would like the privilege to see what I see at work every week. How my heart breaks for every cancer and trichotillimania client my boss helps with their hair pieces. How my heart is broken for one young brave blogger who doesn't know his inner strength. Who needs a bone marrow transplant to rid him of his cancer and I feel doesn't know how much he is loved.

Just once lord or universe I would like to have something nice in my life without it breaking down, being ruined, or being snatched from my clutches. So I just a few more questions for you lord or universe. "Haven't I worked enough on my inner strength and being? Can I now please start working on having few nice monitory things without always being pounded down by life? All I want to do is put out into this world that their our people in this world who care. I feel like my voice has almost been gagged.

I miss my support group and friends on the net, and in Ross chat!! I miss reading your blogs. I can only check my E mail, myspace, writing my post on limited time along with the HIV site. I am screwed and frustrated!!!!!

Footenote:I have something for Wicked Weds. if I can do it from a different computer then mine that crashed.

Computer Crashed

My computer crashed today. I am over at a friend's house using her computer. I hope to be back on line in a few weeks. I will be using the"ORGS" computer to wrtie postings till mine is fixed. I will not be in Ross chat for a while or visting and commenting on many blogs. I am afraid to call my computer tech. I don't want to suffer the wrath of god. This really sucks because I have been staying away from websites which I know are not user friendly. Mikey

Costco Is A Bias Company And A Note To Party Girl

Yes my readers you read that correctly. This blogger is calling Costco a bias company. Why do you ask? Size small in men's clothing. Costco carries very little in small sizes in their clothing line. So here's my whale of a tale.

I went to pick up a few things at Costco yesterday. I went for the Kirkland brand lasanga. The Foster Farmers marinated boneless chicken breast which are great for BBQing. The two pound block of extra sharp chedder cheese which is my favorite cheese.

Then I wanted to pick up some new underware and socks. All I found there were sizes m-xl or larger sizes. Some of my underware have holes is so big you can put a bowling ball threw it, that's why I wanted some new boxerbriefs.

Now for the socks. I found nothing in white socks but large sizes. Again I say Costco is bias. Costco has incorprated the American thinking that bigger is always better into their buyers. My thought is the whole damned fashion industry has forgotten that men do come in small sizes. I think America has become such an overweight nation that discount stores like Costco, Ross and others are afraid to carry the 2 and 3 packs of boxerbriefs. When we do find our size in underware and socks small people are pentalized monotarily for being small having to pay an arm and a leg. I won't even get into them not carrying men's size 7 shoes all I have to say to the is size 8!!!

Party Girl I have been trying to read your blog. For some reason the URL may not be correct. Could you please E MALE me with the correct URL. All I see is a blank white page when I pull up your blog. Did someone cum all over your template and URL?

If You Could Read My Mind Love........

If you could read my mind love

What a tale my thoughts could tell

Just like a paperback novel

The kind that drugstores sell

When they reach the part

Where the heartache comes

The hero would be me (Me changed from you)

Heros often fail.... Gordon Lightfoot

*Readers this meme has disturbing content and is a true Mikey meme. Stolen from no one and is about major dramatic events in my life.*

1) I was raped multiple times in my youth by 3 Amish boys. Click here to read posting.

2) I was nearly hit and killed by car when I was young. May (mother) saved my life by grabbing me and tossing me out of the way of the car. There was a car accident right in front of us. The one car swung around and would have crushed me. May suffered a broken hip and I only had a few scratches. Archie (dad) made my brother and myself live with some relatives while my mother recuperated. I hated him for doing this but I think he thought my brother and I were too young to take care of ourselves until he came home from work.

3) I was nearly shot in a sniper attack. My family went to visit my one sister in Buffalo, NY. She wanted us to see Niagara Falls and take us to Toronto Canada. We went and in Toronto I wanted a T shirt. So we crossed the street and right where we were going to be a man was shot. I wrote one of those I want to know what you did last summer essays for school. The principle called May think I was a psycho. May told that idiot every word I wrote is true.

4) I nearly killed myself falling off the rings in gymnastics. I peeled of the rings at regulation height like a bullet and landed on my head. They rushed me to the E.R. and a few hours released me. The next day our family doctor calls up and places me back into the hospital. I had water on the brain and swelling of the brain.

5) I tried to commit suicide. I was going threw a bad time in my life. I went into a wooded area with two sharp hunting knives. I tried to slice my wrist but neither knife would slice my wrist open.

6) I found out I had HIV/AIDS. You all know this story. If you don't you can click here, or you can click here. Matthew made me promise not to try to commit suicide when I found out I was positive. I have kept that promise till this day. Should I get one of the more severe opportunistic infections, I may have to think twice about that promise.

Footnote: Blogger wouldn't allow me to space on the main body of this posting

Question and Love those Women

Can a gay man truly be a vegan or a vegetarian? The pondering thought behind this is meat and cream. Hmmm

I love how mostly female readers posted their score Weds. for the sex meme. Only a few of the men did. Bravo to all who did post scores in my comments.

What I Have Been Doing And A Special Thank You

I have been looking for more celebrity blogs and have added two more for you.

Click here for Mr. Zach Braff from scrubs.

Click here for Moby's blog. I know you music lovers would like that one.

Both are one my side bar.

I have been working on the pic for my new header. It isn't quite right yet but here's a preview.

I would like to put the title in a cartoon balloon and change Mikey to white lettering then it's ready.

A special thank you goes out to Jules, and Ms. Sizzle for getting me my go blog urself shirt.

I love the shirt but I think I look like a nerd in this pic.

Wicked Weds. A Sex Meme Today

Taken from a friend on myspace. BTW I scored 11 on this meme. Now you really know I am gay and fun in bed.

Start at 50 and add or subtract points as stated for each statement that applies to you...

Above 50 means you are not so good in bed..and not so fun, below 50 means you are real fun and damn good in bed ;)~.

AFTER you're done... put your score in the comments.

Please put this posting on your own blog!!! Let's keep it going bloggers!!

Add 10 If you are a virgin

Subtract 5 If you have had sex before

Subtract 5 more If you have had sex with more then 5 people.

Add 5 If you have never had oral sex

Subtract 5 If you have had or performed oral sex.

Subtract 2 if you have had sex in a public place

Subtract 3 If you have done 69

Add 5 If you have never had an Orgasm

Add 5 If you cant name 3 types/brands of condoms

Subtract 2 If you have masturbated

Subtract 3 If you have fingered/ given a handjob to someone else.

Subtract 5 If you have used someone for sex (one night stand)

Add 5 If you have never seen someone of the opposite sex naked

Add 5 If you havent kissed more then 3 people (unrelated)

Add 3 if you havent been kissed in the past month

Add 2 if You have never masturbated

Add 5 If You have never seen or watched porn

Subtract 5 If you have made your own porn

Subtract 3 If you have participated in anal sex

Subtract 2 If you have used lube duiring sex

Add 5 If you cant remember your last perverted thought

Subtract 5 If you have used sex toys

Subtract 3 If you have had a perverted thought in the past hour

Subtract 2 If you have kissed someone of the same sex

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

I Am Not Mother Teresa

Sometimes being to kind hearted and caring about others overwhelms me. I am the first person in line to help you out if it is my capability. Every once in a while the caregiver needs to be cared for. This is the emotion I am dealing with this week.

Once in a while I wish I could say "Fuck You World" but that is not in my nature. Yesterday I read a new acquaintance's blogger friend's posting. I found out that they had cancer once before and the cancer returned and now they need treatment...........again. I was heart broken for this brave blogger.

The other night when I was so tired I wrote the GRRRRRRRRR posting. I so wanted to be in a pair of strong arms that night to feel that I was loved. The truth is I don't think I know what true love is anymore. I know how to love other people unconditional but when is my turn to be loved. I know I have friends that love me like Jules, and Ms.Sizzle and people on the net who I have not met in the flesh. I would like a lovers kind of love. I'd like to be someone's special boyfriend to be loved unconditionally and return that love to him. I feel like I am too old for the younger guys, and too young for the older guys.

A few months ago I took a certain test on line, it put me in the same category as Oprah, Mother Teresa, Ghandi and other great humanitarians. Well I am not Mother Teresa, Oprah, or Ghandi. I feel like I want to be cared for right now. I really hate myself every moment for feeling like I want to be taken cared for right now. I really hate myself for feeling like I am being selfish!! I really hate myself for wanting more out of life then being happy with the life I am now building.

The Google "Needs" Meme Part 2

After doing the Google "needs" meme for myself, I decided to turn it around on Google. This is what I came up with doing the search.

1) Google needs to due the same while it has everyone's attention due to the hype (hmmm)

2) Google needs requires more transmitters in Mountain View (where my ex Matthew lives)

3) Google needs to clean house (Any questions?)

4) Google needs trust just as much as it needs connectivity, computers, and storage

5) Google needs friends not foes

6) Google needs to be more evil (I love this one)

7) Google needs to step up in Spyware fight (yes it does)

8) Google needs to be taken down by Roberto Salazar (sounds like a challenge to me)

9) Google needs your help

10) Google needs a Mac and Linux Strategy

The Google "Needs" Meme

Still dragging from this past week at work. I don't really want to think so I figured I do the Google "needs" meme.

Go to Google.com and type in your name and "needs" then do a search. Write the ten first sentences that come up.

1) Mikey needs to update his MSN Space's. (I don't use MSN)

2) Mikey needs to grow up (no way I have the Peter Pan syndrom)

3) Mikey needs your support. He's had a stroke so please send him money, your thoughts, prayers and well wishes. (Yeah I had stroke on a few things going on in the states right now. Read that NSA!!! I can always use money. money is good.)

4) Mikey needs some love (OH Yeah!!)

5) Mikey needs to beat up his postal delivery service (does that give me the right to go postal?)

6) Mikey needs to know the truth - is he gay (DUH!!!)

7) Mikey needs a legal opion

8) What Mikey needs is a *rimshot* (I am not touching this one it could get me into trouble if I mentioned names)

9) Mikey needs a miracle and he needs it very soon. (Hell Yeah!!!)

10) Mikey needs to move

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

This is the one posting I told myself I would never do. I'm exhausted and tired from work. My emotions are running rampant from being tired. I know I'll feel better once I get sleep. I also could use some TLC right now.

Work

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23 1/2 Out Of 48 and Killing The Inmates

In the last two days I have worked 23 1/2 hours out of 48 hours. I am really tired so today I am going to repost one of my favorite postings I wrote.


I have mentioned the HIV meds. I take give me more and deadlier gas then a Nazi gas chamber. Last night was no exception. It was so bad I was gassing myself out of my bedroom running every five minutes to the bathroom to get the air freshener.

I accidentally let one slipped in the presence of one of the roommates. They informed the house that I would have to sleep in the outside wash room with the dryer running to keep warm so I wouldn't suffocate the entire house and endanger the baby, and dog. Every time they saw me coming they would slam their doors shut encase I farted.

Lord forbid if I had to go to the local mall last night. I can hear it now:

Next on CNN a bizarre tragedy at a local mall near Santa Cruz, California, get details in the Situation room.

Wolf Blitzer: A local area Santa Cruz man was charged today with the accidental death of all consumers and workers at a mall near Santa Cruz, California. Mr. Mikey was charged today for murder , and recklessness endangerment of the public when he farted at a local mall. Hazmat had to be called in to clear the gas at the mall, and make the mall safe again for the public.

Mr. Mikey is being held in a special air tight cell so he doesn't kill the other inmates at the Santa Cruz County jail. The warden informed the media "Till we figure out what to do with him, he'll stay in that cell for our protection and not his. We hope he suffocates himself the bastard!!"

An inside informant from the Pentagon, and from president Bush's office has told CNN that they are thinking of using the gas that comes out of Mr. Mikey's butt as bio warfare in the war against terrorism. Stay tuned to CNN for further details.

Clientele Weds. At Work

1) A nun

2) Two transgenders (one with a designer vagina) {Don't Ask}

3) Some little old ladies

4) A musician

5) A pyscho-therapist

6) A man I'm not sure what he does

7) A closested lesbian couple

Needless to say I had an interesting day at work.

Wicked Weds. Part Deux "Is This My Dream Man?"

I was dared to place this pic on my server by Remy (Jules husband). So is this my dream man?

Yes or No?

Wicked Weds. Today's Topic Secret Photos From White House

Bush

2004 Candidates

Clinton

Carter

The True Queen Of England

Footnote: Special thanks to Biscuit for today's Wicked Weds.

The New HIV/AIDS Website and Blog

The new blog isn't up yet, but the new main page is up for you to review. It is part of the Gay Guru's website. GG told me that it works with Internet Explorer but we are having some trouble with some of the tabs and links with FireFox.

The site tells about HIV, the Aids bracelet, and a drug watch section at the bottom plus more. The comments are not set up yet but I hope we will fix that proplem in the next few weeks. So click here to see our pet project. There is also an about section where you will see the bios of the people working on this project. Feel free to give positive and negitive feed back on my comments today.

Enjoy,
Mikey

The New Blog

I can tell everyone a little secret now. The Gay Guru and myself have come up with a new blog This new blog will be for anyone who has HIV/AIDS to write to us and that we will be posting their stories. Unlike other web sites on HIV/AIDS we are not affiliated with major drug companies, sponsors, or the government. This will give the world a unique view of people living with HIV/AIDS. I would also like us to use postings from family members of people who have died or living with HIV/AIDS.

We are going to be doing bi weekly postings. Some of the ideas we came up with are;

1) Featuring one HIV/AIDS med per posting

2) One or two stories of people telling their stories dealing with HIV/AIDS per posting name withheld upon request

3) Benefits people living with HIV/AIDS can receive such as Title 2 to help with medical and utility bills.

4) Links to different sites for HIV/AIDS education and testing

5) Once in awhile doing an editorial

6) Maybe a forum for people living with HIV/AIDS

We will be continuously adding new features to the site. We want anyone to be able to use this site positive and non positive people. One of the things I also requested was that slanderous hateful comments would not be tolerated before signing onto this project. I will be posting the URL for everyone tomorrow and we still have a few bugs to work out technically. With the universes help, I hope this site will become a primary source of information for everyone. We will both be doing postings. My story will be the first one featured and hopefully we regain the worlds attention on how HIV/AIDS is everywhere.

Happy Mothers Day To All Mothers

May you all be pampered today!

Hey Faggot, Come Here! Wait, Come Back Here You Little Faggot!!

This sexual orientated slur was yelled at me for the whole world to hear coming home from work this week. Do I yell out "Breeders" at all the straight people for the whole world to hear? No I do not!! Gylinis (a Ross-a-holic) did a brilliant posting of gay people using the word breeder from a religious, straight woman's point of view. I find it amazing that we still have racial, sexuality orientated bigotry still in this world. How long is it going to take for the human race to grow up and learn tolerance?

One of my pet peeves is social injustice in this country and in this world we live. I don't care if you are Black, White, Asian, Latino, Bi, Gay or straight you will be my friend if I like you. After what happen to me I can't stop thinking about a line from George Orwell's "Animal Farm"[All animals are created equal. Some more equal then others.] Judge me for whom I am and not what I do in my bed, my size, shape, or the color of my skin.

I think this person yelled this statement to set me up. Yes, I feel that this gentlemen wanted to steal one of the few nice things that I have in my life. My Bike. I feel this was a trap for if that statement would have been yelled at a straight man, or someone tall in stature, that man would have stopped and become confrontational with the gentleman.

I am an easy target for people. I am 5'4" and criminals see vertically challenged humans as easy pry. I was able to see threw this man's trap for I was mugged three times in my life. I have learned my lessons in life and I am always learning new things everyday and will till the day I die.

Threw the years I have learned to put up a wall in myself so the words fag and faggot doesn't effect my being. When this statement was yelled at me my barrier was down. It cut threw my being like a cold sharp knife tearing me apart. I guess I'll never get used to, or understand how people can be so judgmental.

Dial Me At 831-486-8407

Oh come on, do you really think I would put my phone number on the web? You just read this so you have to do this meme on my comments. (See details below) Put the number said depending on the question.

Put in your area code
-------------------------------

First number of prefix is dating status

1- Single but in love
2- Taken
3- Confused
4- single and confused
5- taken and Happy
6- single
7- Taken and in Love
8- Want Someone but taken
9- Have a Crush
0- Just Dating
-------------------
Next number put your current mood

1- Happy
2- Sad
3- Confused
4- Afraid
5- Excited
6- Cheerful
7- Sleepy
8- Angry
9- Stressed
0- Other
---------------------
Next number is the color of your top

1- Black
2- blue
3- Red
4- Orange
5- white
6- Green
7- Yellow
8- Pink
9- Purple
0- Other
-------------------------
Next number is the month you were born in

1- Jan. or Feb.
2- Mar.
3- April
4- May
5- Jun. or Jul
6- Aug.
7- Sep.
8- Oct.
9- Nov.
0- Dec.
---------------
Next number is your fave color

1- Black
2- White
3- Pink
4- Blue
5- Green
6- Purple
7- Yellow
8- Orange
9- Red
0- Other
-------------------------
Next number is your favorite sport

1- Soccer
2- Basketball
3- Swimming
4- Baseball
5- Tennis
6- Football
7- Volleyball and/or Softball
8- Golf
9- Wrestling
0- Other
-----------------
Last number is your sign

1- Aries
2- Leo
3- Sagittarius
4- Taurus or Virgo
5- Capricorn
6- Gemini
7- Libra
8- Aquarius
9- Cancer
0- Scorpio or Pisces

You have 5 minutes to do this or your computer self destructs. Tick, Tick, Tick......

Seven Continents "The One" Continent Focus

I will not and won't be making this blog totally about HIV, living with HIV, or HIV education. There are other parts in my life that I will want to share with my readers. For the past week though I find myself having a furious rage building inside me after doing my posting on Saturday. I'm laughing on the outside but inside I feel like the Overlord Of Hell wanting to lash my wrath out at people. When I am writing my postings now, I find myself angrily pounding the keys on my keyboard.

I don't know if this mood swing is from:

a) Going threw the anger stage of acceptance of having and living with HIV/AIDS.

b) One of the many side effects I get from taking the meds, some of the meds do give you mood swings.

c) Just the focus on how and where the world is looking at HIV/AIDS at this point in time.


"The One Campaign" is one of the organizations I have made contributions to and support. Look at my side bar, I put their link there about a week ago. "The One Campaign" slogan is to "END WORLD POVERTY, AIDS, .... INDIFFERENCE." Now ending world AIDS to me means in all seven continents. I am I right or am I mistaken? Now one of the seven continents maybe uninhabitable, but 5 of the six other continents are being ignored by "THE One Campaign." All their attention is focused on Africa.

As I wrote on in Saturday's posting, the epidemic in Africa is a serious problem. If your mission statement is to end world AIDS, Poverty, ...Indifference then you also need to inform us about what is going on in the other 5 continents. I have yet to read of anything about how AIDS and Poverty are treated in South America, Europe, Asia, North America, and Australia in any of "The One's" e mail news letters. The only thing I have herd them do in these continents is to ask for money and put pressure on their political leaders.

Either "The One Campaigns" mission statement needs to be changed, or they need to become refocused on what their mission statement implies. Right now to me their focus is only on one continent and not all seven continents. Their mission statement says one thing, their actions and attitudes say another statement. The other continents also have people who's lives have been destroyed by HIV/AIDS as I feel as mine has been destroyed by the virus. Where are those stories in "The One's Campaigns" e mails news letters and what are they doing in the other 5 continents?

Bono the lead singer of U2 and Mr. and Mrs. Bill Gates were named Time magazine's Persons of the year in 2005. The were bestowed the auspices title for being"The Good Samaritans, Persons Of the Year." If you click threw the link you will see that the globe in the picture is titled towards Africa. You can also read Time's write up for Bono and Mr. and Mrs. Bill Gates.

As I have stated, I do not won't to become the New Jerry's Kid's Poster Child for HIV/AIDS. I don't know if I have the strength, energy, or courage to become "The One" voice in this world to bring attention for the other 5 inhabitable continents in which HIV/AIDS has destroyed peoples lives.

Being a member of "The One Campaign", I receive e mail updates and e mail news letters about the progress and events about HIV/AIDS and poverty. So the other night I received an e Mail addressed from Matt Damon from "The One Campaign" entitled "Lessons from Africa." Wrong e mail to send to me at the moment.

I was so furious when I read Mr. Matt Damon's e mail that I actually wrote back an e mail to "The One Campaign". I stated that I was about to unsubscribe my membership and living here in America with HIV/AIDS. I put the links to my postings of when I found out I was positive and my posting about the complacency of HIV/AIDS here in America in that e mail. If I had the money, I would run out and buy a MAC right now!! I wonder if I should e mail Jesus and ask him if his father is trying to tell me something? Who knows maybe I'll get some feed back?

Wicked Weds. Today's Topic Is "Laser Hair Removal"

BEFORE

AFTER

Not Yet Another Meme Post

Before I start the memes I want to tell everyone I am feeling better. What ever it is I have is going away and I have more energy and please sign map. Now more Memes.

Three Websites I Enjoy

a) E Mails From Jesus

b) PostSecret

c) TGIF Hounds (BEN WE WANT HOUND SHIRTS!!!)


Three Famous People From History I Would Have Liked To Have Met

a) Eva Peron

b) Marilyn Monroe

c) Cleopatra (Can you tell I like powerful women?)


Four Things That Scare Me Having HIV

a) It may mutate into to the "Super Virus" (It reared it's ugly head In New York City last year and it's coming again anyday now. Yes the HIV virus does mutate in people.The "Super Virus" is resistant to all meds)

b) I may get skin legions

c) Getting Brain Tumors (Watch the movie "It's My Party" and you'll know what I mean)

d) Me infecting someone (I know all about safe sex but accidents happen. I couldn't live with myself if I did infect someone. No one should go threw what I went threw!!)


Three People I Would Like To Meet In Hollywood

a) Rick Baker

b) Stan Winston (heheh I just did search and found his official site so click on Stan's name to see his site it's very ,very kewl link for SciFi Fans)

c) James Cameron (I'm over Spielberg who has lost his edge and Lucas just can't write anymore do I have to mention the "Phalic Menace.")


Three movie Props Or Costumes I'd Like To Own

a) Sigorney Weavers pulse rifle from "Aliens" (Get away from her you BITCH)

b) One of the flight suits from the new "Battlestar Galatica" (Complete with actor Jamie Bamber who plays Apollo, or a custom made one for myself)

c) David Prowse lightsabre from Star Wars A New Hope (Prowse was the actor in the Darth Vader suit I met him once he's a boring speaker)


Three Extreme Sports I would Like To Try

a) Bungy Jumping

b) Sky Diving

c) Wake Boarding


Three Artist or Groups I Have seen in Concert

a) Tina Turner (oh yeah baby front row center)

b) The Motels (lead singer must have been doing coke that night)

c) The B52's (I was scared to say Liberace my parents took me to see him once when I was a kid)


Three Artist or Groups I Would Like To See In Concert

a) Greenday

b) Madonna

c) Cher (Talk about the last two having a "Big Gay Al" following HISSS on me{click on Al's Name For his Home Page})


Three Artist You Couldn't Pay Me Enough To See In Concert

a) Britney Smears

b) Mirah Scary

c) Marilyn Mason

d) J Lo OOOPS that was four

E Mail From OUR Mother's Womb

Dear Mikey,

Encase we got cut off in the birthing process. I wanted to send you an e mail before the Ethernet umbilical cord was cut. This e mail in the month which you will receive it, you will be celebrating a less then joyous event. This month of May 2006 will be the fifth year anniversary of you NOT having sex with another person. This doesn't mean that you won't ever have sex again it just means that you need to open yourself up to the opportunity.

I know we will fall in lust with many gay guys that blog, but get over it. They are in other states or other countries, or too far away for you to meet those hunks. You should start to feel more amorous again do to you testosterone being at a normal level. You are know looking to get laid. You are looking for someone to fulfill your sexual fantasy. Could this also be another validation of life in which your friend Ms. Sizzle posted about? Could be.

We grow up to be more caring about others then yourself. We are sometimes way to kind hearted and need a man who is just the same. Forget the relationship idea for a while and think about putting ourselves back on the market. Don't be scared to sell ourselves at the next up coming gay pride. Don't be pissed off if it takes forever and a day to find a red ribbon at one of the vendors again like it took last year.

So I am going to do the posting (In which you probably read already) before the birthing process starts. This is transmitted via Ethernet umbilical cord in our mother's womb where the secret to Windows XP professional is stored.

Love from your embryonic self

Wat, Gay Guru, Partygirl, Cut The Shit Will and Grace

I want all my readers to go to Wat's blog. I am not sure what he is going threw but he's really down and me being the caring person I am asking all of us to give him support. (Hot pic of Wat isn't it? Wat I want to know is swim suit or no swim suit?)

Gay Guru -who is new to reading my postings just had a friend die and went to their funeral this weekend. My condolences to you Gay.

Partygirl - who is a wild child that I want to meet someday. She pimped one of my postings. Thanks love.

Cut the shit Joe - I pimped you in Saturdays posting.

Now my dear blogging buddy Wat recently made a comment on my friend Jules blog asking if we were like Will and Grace. Wat I don't know if you read Jules comment back to you but she made one. I would like to add to that comment no we are not like Will and Grace I see us more like a Jack and Karen. LOLOL

The Complacency Of HIV/AIDS In The American Mind

So I am either fighting of thrush or strep throat, or both. My tongue is coated and my throat is raw and my energy level is down. I need to jump threw some hoops for the state before I can see a doctor. Being a little irritable when not feeling well I find myself wanting to do another heavy posting.

Why doesn't the media, entertainment industry, and politicians wake up and see that there is already a serious epidemic in our own back yard. I am sick and tired of hearing about the "potential avian bird flu." I am sick and tired about hearing about breast cancer with a whole month dedicated to breast cancer. I am sick and tired of hearing about AIDS in Africa. I so sick and tired hearing about Katrina victims who are homeless which now brings me to my point today.

How many of you knew that the victims of Katrina could not, or had a hard time receiving their Meds after Katrina. HIV/AIDS has become the forgotten disease of America. The government has cut back on funding for preventive education and research. The standards for disability are outrageous. You may feel like shit but if your numbers look good on paper you are denied, denied, denied!!

It just feels to me the above fore mention are the current fads of the American public right now. I am not trying to be unjust to the hardships of having breast cancer. The epidemic in Africa is a serious problem. The Katrina victims do need help but damn it America the coffees brewing and no one here in America is smelling it and the SUPER VIRUS is going to show it's ugly head again like it did in New York City in the beginning of 2005 .

Cut The Shit Joe who I love to read pimped my story about finding out when I was positive. I love Joe dearly and he wrote "I 've known Mikey was positive from the moment I stumbled across his site-as he bravely and unabashedly has it listed on his side bar of his main page." I did this for a number of reasons. First I want people to know that this is me. Second I feel HIV/AIDS still has such a stigma around it the general population in America that they are afraid to discuss HIV. How many times have you seen entertainers wear red ribbons now at award shows, film premiers, and other publicized social event? Well the only person I have seen in a world televised event was George Clooney mentioning AIDS at the Academy awards.

When has Oprah, Ellen, The View, Live with Regis and Kelly, all the morning news show, the nightly news shows had a segment on HIV? Where is the AIDS quilt stored at that was so grandioso displayed in central park, that hasn't been displayed in years? I'll tell you, not fucking lately. If HIV/AIDS is now listed as a "Chronic Disease" and not terminal then why the hell did not one, not two, but three of my roommates die from it last year.

My story is only one of many horror stories in the world about HIV/AIDS. I do not want to become the new Jerry's Kids Poster Child for HIV but more people need to open up about their HIV status. We need to start putting faces to people that are living with AIDS in America instead of other countries. Let Americans start thinking about people with HIV who are their next door neighbors. Wake up America, wake up!!

Cinco de Mayo, Health Update, Anal Retentiveness

I want wish all my Latino readers and whoever a happy Cinco de Mayo. It's kewl to party but please party safe. I do not want to go to your blogs and wonder if something happen to you. I want to see postings within the next few days.


So I told Jill about how I felt like I was getting a cold and sore throat. She looked into my throat and I am defiantly fighting something at the moment. My fear is that the thrush has return. I can not see a doctor till the beginning of next week do to work and finances.

This is how anal retentive I can be sometimes. I was one of six contestants who were graciously awarded an autographed copy of the "Lost Blogs From Jesus To Jim Morrison" by Paul Davidson in the GBBMC marketing campaign. To read these posting please see my April archives. While reading the hard copy of these most excellent postings, I notice Mr. Davidson had a lot of links that were in these famous peoples postings. I actually went to the back of the book to see if the hard copy of the web page links were in back of the book. Go figure they weren't there surprise, surprise!! If the rest of the book is as good as the first 80 pages. I am in for quite a treat. Some of my favorite posting right now are from Jessie James, Neil Armstrong, Sitting Bull, The Donner Family, Orson Welles, but my all time favorite that I have read so far is Helen Keller's photoblog (Why Paul....Y didn't use flickr for her posting I'll never know?)

Footnote: This is me sitting in my computer chair reading with my feet up on my bed. Computer to my left, nightstand to my right. Kickin 'em when they're up, kickin 'em when they're down. Dirty laundry.

Commenting On Blogs And MySpace Pages

Dear Bloggers,

I think I might be getting a cold (I hope not) but I have been really tired the past three days plus now it feels like I am getting a sore throat. I have to take care of myself plus put some long hours in at work the next three days.

My blog roll just keeps growing and growing and I still haven't been able to put the "ROSS aholoics" on yet from my space. If I do not comment on your blog, please don't worry I will catch up and comment on everyones blog by Tuesday.

Love You All,

Mikey

PS. I have trouble commenting on my own blog with the new template. I want to Thank Everyone for their well wishes and support after reading the posting of When I found out I was positive.

Today's Wicked Weds. Is "Brokeback Potter"

Posted with the blessings of Father Brian on MYSPACE. Oh yeah, it's also the wallpaper on my computer right now.

Let Me See Your Eagle Eyes

Saturday was Jill's birthday in the house. We celebrated on Sunday when her parental units came down to see her(well actually the granddaughter). We had a fabulous BBQ with all the fixings.....YUM. Jill's mother and I were talking and she asked me if I had herd of the live webcam at an Eagles nest. I told her that I hadn't so she forward the link in my E Mail.

So today I want to pass the link onto all my fellow bloggers. This is amazing!!!! While writing this post, I saw one of the chicks begging for food. So click here to view one of America's national symbols live webcam nest feed complete with sound. If you just get a black box just keep trying. It means a lot of people are at ste.

The Full Story Of When I Found Out I Was Positive

I know I have shared this posting once before with some of my readers. Due to CNN running a special last night called "The End Of AIDS." I find myself compelled to repost this posting for all my new readers from MYSPACE, The GBBMC, and the "Ross"oholics.

I was dating a guy from the Monterey area. I will call him James. I am not really sure if it was James that infected me, but Matthew (my ex) and I both think it was him. I was totally infactuated with James. He was nice, kind, big hearted, and drove a porche. Him and I had the best sex in my life. Yes we had unprotected sex, but before we did he told me he was negative before we did. I knew I was negative also at the time, (from what I knew of him at that time I didn't think he would lie about his HIV/AIDS Status ) I do have to admit some of it was substance enhanced. Now I never shot up, but I did like to smoke. No I was never addicted to drugs as some of you might think. I put up so many barriers and limitations for myself so I wouldn't get addicted.

After we broke up, I was tested for HIV again, and the test came back negative. Little did I know at that time the virus was taking hold of my immune system. This was in 2001.

As the virus took hold, I just didn't feel like going out and doing things on my days off. I just wanted to chill in front of the boob tube and relax. My whole life was about working and nothing else. No sex, no entertainment nothing but working, sleeping and eating.

Three years go by and my boss at the time said to me one day "Are you working out or something because you are loosing a lot of weight." Little did I know at the time I started to go into what is known as "wasting." I was having these aches and pains and like most people I was thinking "It's just from getting older."

In the beginning of the summer of 2004, I remember something coming out of my mouth. It was a piece of thrush (I didn't know what thrush was at the time). I checked my mouth to see if there was anymore in there and there wasn't so I thought "Ok it just some weird one time thing my body was doing." I never told anyone that I found that piece of thrush until today. I didn't know all the symptoms of HIV and later I found out the list is as long as my arm.

So September of 2004 comes around and I look like a walking skeleton. Matthew and the people I'm around don't say anything about the way I look, or they were afraid to mention anything to me. I am trying to work, but I have to call in sick a lot and maybe be able to do 10 hours a week.

My weight is down from 140 to about 110 pounds. The thrush has completely taken over my mouth and is partially down my throat. In fact it so bad it is growing on the outside of my mouth. It was very hard for me to talk, let alone eat, and drink anything. When I would cough, big chunks of thrush got stuck in my throat. I had a towel by my bed so when I coughed up the thrush I had something to spit it into. I hid that from Matthew at the time so he wouldn't worry.

I can't pay the rent now for being to sick. I didn't have health insurance for my job didn't offer it, (I was working for a nationwide sandwich chain). The county refused to see me because I couldn't afford the co-pay they wanted due to being so sick, and couldn't see a doctor because of finances and no insurance.

Finally, Matthew asked his doctor in S.F. about what I was going threw, and Matthew asked me if I was tested for HIV/AIDS. I said not lately, I haven't slept with anyone since May of 2001. why would I need to be tested? The last test came back negative.

So on September 30, 2004 I tested positive for the HIV virus. One week before my birthday. When the person told me I burst out into tears right there in the free testing site. So after I was tested Matthew had himself tested to make sure he wasn't positive since we lived together. He was and still is negative. That night I cried myself to sleep thinking I'm going to die in a few weeks.

So Matthew's doctor tells him I should try to sign up for ADAP (AIDs Drugs Assistance Program). After I tested positive, now the county wanted to do all they could for me. One day before my birthday I see a county doctor. Later I found out my doctor is also positive. Sorry doc to "out you" but I wanted my readers to know because of the next few lines. He is asking me all sorts of personal questions thinking I had known I was positive for awhile , I am thinking he's a cold hearted bastard who doesn't care. Again I burst into tears in the doctors office.


On October 20 of 2004 I received my test results back. My viral load was 551,221 and my CD 4 count was at 65 (this is also known as your T cell count.) Yes, I found out I had full blown AIDS. Again I burst out into tears in the doctor's office. For those of you who don't know the standard right now is anything above a 200 count you have HIV+, anything below that you have full blown AIDS.

I still can't pay the rent due to not working and my benefits (Unemployment) have not come in yet. I can barely walk to the end of the driveway and back without being exhausted. About two weeks later, someone shows up at the front door. I answered the door and a person hands me an eviction notice from the landlord. About this time I started my cocktails.

The Sunday or two before we have to be out, I had to go to the emergency room. I try to drink and eat but things are only going half way down and coming right back up and out. I had to have three IV's bags of saline solution to rehydrate me. It seems I was allergic to one of the meds. I couldn't get a hold of the county nurses or the doctors at the time because it was a weekend and the ones on call never returned my messages. I have stopped taking that med and if I do take it again it will kill me.

So the week of Thanksgiving that year, I am made to pack up and move all our belongings with Matthew. Matthew is going to live with at that time with his so called boyfriend. Matthew and I were together 9 years, then he broke up with me but we still remained friends and lived together for another 7 years.
So now I am thinking I am going to be out living on the street.
The Org puts me into a HIV/AIDS support house. I lived in that house until the first of February of 2005 when I was evicted again for my benefits ran out and no one would hire me. Now I am living in another HIV house in which I enjoy even more. Yeah I had a lot of troubles and tribulations in 2005 and now things are finally starting to turn around, and I feel I can now have sex again.

I am not sure about the whole relationship thing yet. My viral load is now 62 as of February 2008 down from over half a million. My T cells are at 608.The thrush is gone now, it took over a year to go away from becoming resistant to the meds. I can say that it took HIV/AIDS to make me enjoy life again. I hoped you all enjoyed me bearing my heart and soul today. It was a little rough blogging this posting. I am putting this out to all readers. Please have yourself tested.